Lucrecia's Legacy

The Sleeper

"Do not touch my sidearm."

This guy was Cloud's opposite; pale, tall and almost slight. Dark hair nearly covered his face and ran down his front. In fact, he was covered in hair. He'd clearly been in the basement for years, maybe decades. Cloud seemed fresh, hardy and young; this guy sounded weary.

"Cut it out, girl. He can't get you now." Barrett's voice sounded high and sweet, compared to the deep, metallic harshness of the sleeper's near-whisper. He turned sideways so I could see the stranger myself.

I was clutching Barrett's vest, my nails fairly digging his skin. The sleeper was staring directly at me. I jerked back involuntarily and buried my face again.

"Do not touch my sidearm," he repeated. "I could have killed you."

Cloud stood his ground, unimpressed by the sleeper's trick of swirling and floating above the coffin.

"You said it: this place is the beginning of my nightmare." All the misery of the past years weighed on his golden head, and he shook it slowly. I half expected to see tears drip from his usually-glaring blue eyes. Now he was just a boy again, sad and wounded.

The sleeper barked, "You go first."

Cloud's story was the same he told in Gold Coast, so I stopped listening, and fell back near Red XIII. Reddie searched my face a moment, then turned to the two men. I hugged his ruff and settled in. When the sleeper began, I barely attended.

"You know Lucrecia?!" The sleeper narrowed his eyes, giving me a hard, sidelong look. My face must have given me away. I hesitated, not really sure that my input would be relevant.

"Hojo once called me his Latest Lucrecia."

His reply stunned me: Lucrecia was Sephiroth's mother! Did I have a son? Not likely, even if I couldn't remember much. Lucrecia was a research assistant, just like me.

The guys were staring at me.

"Hey, you saw. Hojo surrounds himself with women. He selected us by our education. At Gold Coast each of those bikinis was a Master or PhD in the laboratory. Except me. Just a science background and a hobby in natural healing. He's studying my gene pool. You know, my parents and grandparents. Besides, I haven't been there more than a couple years." Never mind the details; I wanted to hear the rest of his story.

He certainly regained my attention. The culture and education of the voice was in marked contrast to the appearance. He looked disgusting: messy, matted hair and long, curling fingernails, not to mention the disintegrating dark clothes under all that hair. Not that he smelled or anything. His coffin was the only one that didn't reek of decay.

The guy wasn't dead; I'd shouted to Barrett. Surely this would be the Turk in the notes. Was there a neck under all that fur? I grabbed the wrist instead; there didn't seem to be a pulse, but the body wasn't cold. Wouldn't call it warm, but he wasn't a corpse. Was it my imagination that he was a little warmer at the neck I finally located?

"Barrett, he's got a wicked looking pistol. You want it?"

"Yeah, go ahead and take it. You should have a weapon."

"Not me. Can't stand the noisy things." My fingers fumbled with the holster: the snaps were tight. And I didn't like robbing the body when it didn't seem quite dead.

"Not quite dead" barely entered my mind when the curling fingernails raked my hand. I yelped and tried to withdraw. But the sleeper had my wrist before I could move. "Baaaarrrrrett! Help me! NOW!!!"

My buddy instantly fell on the coffin and grabbed the long claws, twisting and breaking a few. He snatched me to himself and pulled away, all in one motion. Then the sleeper rose full-body out of the coffin, defying gravity.

"What are you doing here? Get out immediately." The rest of our fellowship crowded around us, drawing their weapons, and waited for the man's first move. Cloud came forward and thus the confrontation had begun.

The Latest Joiner

In vivo experimentation! The story seemed ludicrous. How could anyone let the Professor do such a thing? He certainly wasn't inclined that way these days. Being the consummate research scientist, Hojo and "Romance" were an impossible combination. And yet, he always seemed a little leering around us. As the old saying goes, "The only rooster in the henhouse."

And he was secretive about his experiments. It's common knowledge that Sephiroth was specially treated to epitomize SOLDIER. My boss always told us that he "co-created" him, so to speak. And while I did not doubt Hojo's ruthlessness, amoral would be a better word. Science is all; science justifies all. Gives me the creeps to even imagine him and sex, much less anyone having him. Not that he isn't a looker. At least, he clearly was one in his day. Well, so was I, I think. As usual, the faint glimmer was wiped out immediately.

Always on the tip of my tongue or in the back of my mind. And then a sick feeling. Aversion therapy? One had to wonder. Reddie didn't recall the procedure that gave him bioluminescence. He insists that he wasn't born that way. And the healing? Yes, the scratch marks were gone. Blood on my shirt was the only sign left. Sure as hell wasn't born with that ability. It comes pretty handy though, since archery skill is not highly sought-after these days. Just as well. Battles are busy enough for me as it is, already.

But the sleeper was done with us. He pronounced some nonsense about worse dreams and atonement. We were summarily dismissed; the cover was returned to its place. Yuffie said something snarky about him being a crybaby in his sleep, while Tifa led the us out the door.

Barrett mourned, "Too bad; we could've used those weapons." Had I missed something? Was there more than just a pistol? I turned and stared back into the darkness, trying to think about what he'd had. "Trying" to remember just made it worse. Would I be like this the rest of my life?

Yuffie returned for me, taking my arm. "Come ON. Forget about that loser. What d' you wake him for, anyway?" She took for granted that I'd deliberately healed him, like it was Contain or something. I let her herd me toward the spiral stairway. God, I hated those stairs! At the top, I had to hug the walls to keep back the panic. The walkway to Corelle had sealed it for me. I never knew I had acrophobia. Just the thought of the suspended foot bridge left me sick to my stomach, sweating cold sea water.

My anxiety spell was interrupted by Yuffie levitating right to the web-covered ceiling. She came down like a dropped stone, facing behind me, hand on her weapon.

The stranger stood there, pulling at his unruly black mane. So, now he wanted to join us; maybe his TURKS training would help. Figured: another Shinra employee; another disgruntled customer. I remembered his other arm. How could I have forgotten that metal claw?

He pretty much floated ahead and up the center of the tower. Nice trick. We never saw his matted mop again, as we searched the place, room by room. It was lousy with living monsters as well as a cranky host of the undead. What a mess. Books and apparatus everywhere, covered in dust and crawling with spiders, webs and other creepy crap. I was sick to death of the place long before we finished. Did you know that healing and curing eliminates the undead? I do now. Everyone fought well, but Cloud was otherwise completely lost in thought. He examined every device and gizmo in the laboratory, scanned all the titles of the books lining the walls, obviously searching for something. He wasn't talking. Yet.

Battle after interminable battle, we inched our way through, and finally out of the accursed place. The inn felt like a little slice of heaven. Grateful for hot showers and clean sheets, I barely hit the pillow before sliding into the abyss. As usual, the night felt like forever, no dreams, just darkness. This time I was glad.

Nibelheim was lovely in the morning, sparkling and inviting. The place begged for a walk, and I complied. Again saw some people in uniform, but they casually moved along, totally unconcerned by my aimless ambling. Actually nobody seemed to care anything about us at all. It began to dawn on me that the district was patrolled by some sort of militia. No Shinra blue-suits or soldiers anywhere, just men and women in black and red. Was Cloud wrong about his town? Or were they some sort of local response to the reprisal five years ago? And why would Shinra rebuild a town exactly as it was? Good job, though.

A young man came up to me, smiling. I snapped to, sorry to have gone out alone; the militia was indeed taking note of us. This guy wore the usual black and red, but he was much more heavily armored than the rest. I knew I couldn't take him alone.

"Where are the rest of your fellows?" Handsome dude, another cultured voice. It would be best to play dumb, be the sweet, old lady sort of thing. Another reason not to go armed.

"Fellows? You have me at a disadvantage, sir."

"You can call me Vincent, ma'am." He swept aside the cape, so I could see the claw, and bowed deeply and gracefully. He was still smiling; now I could see his eyes were warm, chocolate brown, rather like my... husband's? But the memory was gone as soon as it occurred. I dismissed it and allowed myself to register my delight and relief. Oh yes, he was definitely a cutie.

"Don't scare me like that! What'd you do, sell all that hair? Must've made a fortune!"

He shook his head and turned to show me the long queue down his back. Tifa and Aerith had some serious competition in that department. He watched me, his eyes intent: now just brown, they'd flashed deep ruby red when I chided him. Remembering the formalities, I grabbed his right hand and gave it one strong pump.

"Welcome to the crew. Everyone may be still asleep. There's breakfast at the inn. Hungry?"

"Thank you. My family fed me. They insisted." Family! I whistled involuntarily, surprising both of us.

"I can just imagine they were stunned. How did you convince them you weren't a ghost? You were a sight, no lie or exaggeration!" He had to have frightened them out of their wits. He nodded, looking oddly annoyed and puzzled.

"I cleaned up and shaved at the inn, before I returned. They tell me I haven't changed." That must have been some scene. Vincent left it at that, though. Oh, well. There would be plenty of time for the details later. Tons of time, if our travels to date were any indication. Never any questions--the information always leaked out, slowly but surely. If the Shinra were involved, it wouldn't be pretty.

"Come. We'll wake the others." He might as well see them at their worst; the ladies--Yuffie especially--hated mornings. I shrugged off the familiar feeling (was it a scent?); it would go away anyhow.

"So, my lady. Which is your husband?" The question startled me, but after all, I still wear the band. It's only natural to expect a woman traveling with men to own one. Hadn't thought much about it: sort of own them both, like family. The usual heaviness in my chest nearly rose to my throat. I swallowed hard, looked casual and kept it short. That poor guy didn't need to know my troubles. All in good time.

"Neither. I'm the senior member of the group. I can't figure out who is the leader, though. I'm the latest joiner. We don't know where my husband is." The truth still hurt.

"I'm sorry."

"Thanks. So am I."

Yuffie's Fountain

Enough already! What's with all the suspended foot-bridges? Yeah, yeah, I know. You can shoot an arrow over a ravine; don't tell ME about archery. So Shinra couldn't afford to put in a decent tramway? It has to be there to discourage people: it certainly discouraged me.

Someone didn't think that one through. The steep incline actually worked in my favor. I could pull myself up the ropes with my arms. It felt more secure, safer. I know I've done this before, maybe working on my home. Some day I'll remember the details.

By the time we climbed Mt. Nibel, we had enough fighters to give everyone a rest in battle. Good thing, too; we met green dragons all the way through the caves. This was the first time I actually wondered if it was really necessary to kill every single animal that crossed our path.

A green dragon is a glorious creature. I remembered Cloud's description of Hojo's experiments with mako and Jenova. What could have been perverted to come up with such beauty, grace and power? Are they simply our fellow denizens of this planet, and not mutants?

Who am I to judge Jenova mutants? Takes one to know one, I guess. In Nibelheim it became clear that all our lovely skills and powers were courtesy of everyone's favorite researcher. Cloud got the SOLDIER treatment; Reddie acquired biolumnescence, and I became a healer. Looks like each is an enhancement of an otherwise naturally-evolving trait. Though, for the life of me, I can't see the evolutionary value of a glowing tail, unless it increases the survival rate of the newborns in their dark dens.

Was Aerith treated? She says her skills were present even when she was tiny. Hojo would be content to test and study her in pristine condition, untouched. She maybe got lucky, if one could call the "Last Surviving Cetra" lucky.

And our newest colleague? We found out in spades early on. Vincent admitted he was rusty, and we figured after a thirty-year hiatus from life, he would need some warming up. Cloud assigned me to his maintenance, while Aerith would cover the rest of the party.

Vincent started pretty slow, although his aim was perfect. He rarely missed, shooting in the Zen manner, all stylistics, all art; I studied Zen briefly during my Archery training. Lots of flourish, lots of "getting into the zone." Not the greatest method for hunting. And I do remember hunting, I think because I hunted alone. Prey can spot flourish a mile away.

The battlefield can be comparatively forgiving. But, while Vincent was an ace, it was a very good thing he's armored. Exhaustion overcame me after the first battle, and I dropped unconscious as soon as the emergency was over.

The dreamless sleep, or "going deep," I call it. Healing somebody is a conscious act, self-healing much more complicated. It's a redirection of my life-force. When healing others, I can feel the force rather like electricity, and it flows along the various systems and out of the body. Aerith says to some degree it's the same with her, so it must be natural. Too bad it won't self-direct much when I'm awake; those naps were sure to cause trouble at some point.

Vincent was a pretty matter-of-fact fighter; his TURKS training served us well. On the other hand, he was slow enough to take a lot of hits that should have been easy to evade. A dragon can overpower an entire party in one blow, especially after effecting the dragon force.

Mr. Valentine soon stunned us with his first limit break. He fell face forward, so I ran to heal him. He rose and morphed! Some sort of indigo beast took his place, and dispatched a hail of fireballs. I was knocked backwards, and missed the rest of the battle.

Aerith was standing over me, shaking her head. What did I do now?

"Fini, He's agonizing again. He says he knocked you out. Talk to him." Had to be doom-and-gloom Vincent. I stretched and yawned.

"Aerith, tell him to get over it."

"I could have killed you." He was behind my head. Looking serious, as usual.

"Heard that one before, and I'm still here. You will see and do lots worse in many battles. What about Confusion, for instance? By the way, Valentine, what do you want to call that limit?"

"Call it? Name it?? I want to forget it." Miffed, he turned and walked stiffly away.

"Was it something you said?" Aerith giggled, "Hey, why don't WE name it? Violet lizard. 'Violet' wouldn't appeal to him, I shouldn't think."

"Galein. Like the purple crystals. There's also a galliwasp lizard down in the subtropic islands."

"Where do you get this stuff? Galian lizard sounds good." She looked pleased, and went to spread the word to the others, and maybe to tease Vincent with it. Nothing stayed serious with Aerith.

"Um, close enough. Natural science is my specialty. Hojo didn't choose me as just another pretty face, you know." But I was already talking to the air. I dragged my butt off the cold cavern floor and looked for Vincent. It occurred to me that maybe I should let her tease him; hadn't seen him smile since we met in the square. Alway grumpy and proud. It gets tiresome.

Well, flatten me with a Chocobo feather! He returned arm-in-arm with Aerith, both seriously discussing the name.

"What do you think?" He looked almost mischievous. "Galian Beast it is."

Now it was my turn to be serious. I felt the need to preach. "It is an aspect of you. Not separate, but something that comes from inside. Your 'beast' is simply a little more spectacular than most. You are the Galian Beast, at least a part of you is."

"All the more appropriate, then." The imp was gone, and sadness took its place. "I have this monster inside me." He sounded positively funereal.

"Yeah, you and everyone else. C'mon guys, let's get out of here. Vincent needs some sunshine, and my butt's frozen from the floor." A small speck of daylight beckoned, and I beelined for it.

It wasn't sunshine, but the most beautiful sculpture on the planet. A mako spring. THE mako spring: the reason Shinra built the reactor here.

Cloud said that even the great Sephiroth called it "A Miracle of Nature." Much more impressive than anything I've ever seen, the fountain shone brighter than the filtering sunlight.

Then Yuffie caught my eye: she was mesmerized, slowly becoming more and more excited, like a groupie at a rock concert. Her eyes grew wider the closer she got. That mute agitation began to worry me, and even Tifa sidled up to her and whispered at her.

"Yuffie, what's up?" The kid just growled at us, a lion guarding its kill. Her attitude was one of religious awe. She never touched the formation, but instead hovered close, not quite caressing its surface with her outstretched hands, as if it might burn her fingertips with its incandescence. She was enchanted, worshiping a beloved idol.

Tifa came away, spooked by the transformation.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" I dropped my voice to a near whisper, not wanting to break the spell. SHE was beautiful like this, transformed to full maturity by... By what? Was it an appreciation for the natural wonder, its almost overpowering radiance, or the eons of formation represented in this one structure?

"This sucker could bring in a freaking fortune!!!" She squealed, jumping up and down, now frantic, alternately clapping her hands and pumping her fists. That was it. Naturally.

"You go ahead and try to take some," Both disgusted and amused, I smiled and walked away. Eh. Yuffie's just Yuffie. Callow and shallow, like I tell my daughters.

I froze. MY DAUGHTERS! I grasped at the memory. Twin daughters. God, what are their names? No good. But now I had more clues. Brown eyed husband and irritating daughters. The rest would come.

Jerks, wimps and creeps

"Shall I give you a lift?" Pretty cheeky for a cat on a toysaurus, I thought. It had to be a man. It doesn't take a great detective to guess that one, though. Most higher ups are still male, as befits such a cutthroat organization. Scarlett's an anomalie, and a strange one at that. Dresses like a hooker, commanding armies; frankly, I can't see her asking to carry me.

Cait rarely spoke to me, and I didn't want to associate with it. My instinct was to avoid giving it any excuse to come close. That travesty of acting at the Gold Saucer wasn't fooling anyone. No one invited Cait; it just joined. Not bad in battle, and a heckuva body blocker, but it seemed to be watching everyone, staring, and then horning in unbidden. I'd be polite to it, just to hedge my bets.

"No, thank you. There's a town not far from here, I'm sure of it. It's just that we left a perfectly good buggy the other side of Nibelheim. What a waste."

Cloud consulted with Tifa. Sure, there was a village in the middle of the plain. What was it called? I hoped they weren't asking me, because I only know that I used to know. There was a Shinra installation there, a training center of sorts, but they dropped out of sight a while ago. Can't remember why, but I'll bet those kids were too young to know its name or demographic. Shinra would have shut down any communication a good while ago, if the place had any sort of promise.

It was a long, long hike. My jeans were falling down my hips. I felt ridiculously pleased by the thought. No doubt the rest of me was skinny, too. I wondered if everyone else was bored to tears with all the walking. After all, would Sephiroth be hiking all this time, too? I mused peevishly. Why couldn't he just stick to Midgar? There are plenty of hiding places there. Not to mention some great shopping... And I could use some new clothes, especially shoes. I contented myself with daydreams. By now, we had lots of money; we were almost gillionaires. Who knew beating and looting enemies could be so lucrative? With Yuffie as our seasoned instructor, we became very good at stealing as we went along. It was a sport for her, and a necessity for us. One never knows where the best weapons and items are without a little hunting.

Finally, a sort of tower loomed on the horizon. The heck? Looked like a very heavy missile, aimed and ready for launch. An ugly thought crept in. I turned on the toysaurus. "Hey, Cait. You know what that thing is?"

"Looks like a rocket ship to me." The stupid cat didn't even need to try to look innocent. The perfect poker player with an expressionless face.

"Not a missile? Shinra being Shinra and all." The thing was camouflaged, although the closer we got the more it looked just plain rusty. The town itself was inviting, the people friendly and informative. We should "look for the Captain" became a familiar refrain. So we looked for the Captain.

He was nowhere in the village, so the guys climbed the gantry access to the rocket and brought him back. No more heights for me. Already had a bellyful of that. And I'm not exactly sweet on enclosed spaces, like ships--even spaceships. Or especially spaceships. In fine, Yuffie and I sat that one out. We stayed behind and were able to get to know Mrs. Captain. Geez, even she called him the Captain. Shera, actually, was her name, and at first she seemed intelligent. Rather like my coworkers in Research. Another PhD to make me feel like an underachiever.

So you can imagine my reaction when the Captain showed up and started screaming at her. I was stunned, rooted to the floor by the barrage of abuse. Nothing she did was right, and she wasn't allowed a word in edgewise. He swore and sputtered, then threw himself in a chair, put his feet on the table, and ordered us to sit down and drink some goddamned tea.

Everyone was duly impressed, and continued as if nothing were wrong. I left in disgust, but not before I told Shera that her Captain Cid was a first class jerk. Only I wasn't so polite about it. Cait motioned me to the back, where there was a very small plane. A real beauty, Bronco class, quite tiny and obviously the recipient of loving care and restoration.

Bet having a slavey to clean and cook gave Captain plenty of time for his hobbies. Cloud should see this, maybe we could purchase the little plane? I cautiously entered the back door, on the lookout for that jerk, Cid; maybe I could spit on his feet. But there was only Shera, Vincent and Reddie. When she saw Cait and me, she backtracked a bit and retold her story. She had flubbed the space shot, ruining Cid's chances to rule outer space. She'd fussed too long with a broken safety device, and Captain aborted the launch. She would follow him to the ends of the planet.

Her meekness was grating on my nerves.

"Sounds to me like you saved his sorry ass." I growled, "Well, you get no kudos from me," and headed out front to find the others. If I stayed around I was going to say something I might regret. I walked straight into a little party of Shinra suits and soldiers.

Rufus Shinra and his retinue! Why would he make a personal appearance? The rocket? No, he said he wanted the little plane. Our group was already headed back to claim the Bronco for themselves. I turned to follow them, hoping no one saw me.

"Josephine, it's been a long time. You're supposed to be dead." Me? The kid was talking to me.

"Pardon me if I can't recall when we last had the pleasure, sir." So now I'm dead? Maybe he would lend me a few clues.

"Dear Old Dad thought you were the cat's meow. He said so after dancing with you at that formal, a couple of years back. You look completely different in jeans. A lot younger. (Oh, brother...was I going to puke?) Is your husband here?" The question just about stopped my heart. So who was I? But there was a huge ruckus in Captain Cid's back yard. Someone was starting the Bronco!

No way I was going to be left behind with that creepy white suit. My feet moved faster than I thought possible, barely touching the ground as I lightly jumped the little fence, screaming at my buddies on the plane. It hadn't lifted off yet, and taxied right at me. I swallowed the panic in my throat and was nearly ripped apart when I latched onto a strut. Why me, flying? They pulled me inside. Our people were all over the tiny thing, like possum babies on their mother's back, just clinging and hanging on. Captain grabbed a wing and hauled himself aboard, cursing and growling.

The jerk simply left Shera behind; no doubt she would be questioned by Shinra. At the moment, his entourage was shooting at us, and one of the idiots got lucky. After banking left and right, the Bronco crashed into the ocean, never to rise again. And that was okay by me, except for one thing.

We were stuck with Captain Cid, in all his foul-mouthed, inflated ego glory. He was crabbing at Yuffie. She was hopping up and down, heedless of the bouncing she was causing. Already nose to nose with Cid. Then she stopped abruptly, dropped to her knees and hung her head off the wing. I knew exactly what the problem was. Me, too, only not so violently.

After she emptied her stomach, she pointed forward and shakily said, "We are headed right to Wutai. It's a nice town. Let's go there."

How disingenuous was that? The brat.

Dissing and the Dissed

Our impromptu ocean crossing was miserable. The Bronco's propellers pulled us over the top of the water. Ocean-going ships have underwater propellers in back. Even at low speed, a constant spray kept us soaked and chilled the entire journey.

After what seemed an eternity, we found ourselves drying out on the beach. There were only seabirds to welcome us, and they gave a rousing ovation, shrieking and diving at our heads. Must've disturbed their hatcheries, or some such. Cid fought them off with--you guessed it--curses, threats and his lance, finally managing to moor the Tiny Bronco just far enough inland to protect it from high tide. He was almost sweetly protective of his broken toy, and repaired what he could even without any decent tools. Then we all searched for some makeshift camouflage, so we could expect to find it unmolested on our return.

Yuffie led us up a sloping, winding hillside, where the view was ocean as far as the eye could see. I've always adored the seaside, and it worried me that such a gorgeous panorama was just plain depressing. I was still mulling over the meaning of Rufus' words.

Did my family really think I was dead? How would it matter to Shinra, anyhow? Creepy kid probably had a mommy fixation. Word was his mother abandoned both father and son shortly after the boy was taken for grooming as future corporate chief. He was just a child at the time, but President Shinra presented him as his heir.

Never mind that. Am I dead, legally speaking? How the hell would I know? I can barely recall leaving Hojo in Gold Coast, let alone working with him or worse, dying for him. Fuzzy, blurry and vague: they all make great descriptions of my memories of work. But they were coming, little by little. Same with family. I could see their faces, and maybe soon I would be able to pull together names and other data. Hurts likes the dickens, though, and takes a considerable effort to dredge up anything. Aversion therapy, indeed.

Now Barrett was shouting. Reddie looked tense and on guard, growling slightly. Cloud had balled his hands into fists and was speaking in a low tone to Yuffie. Geez, I always miss stuff when my mind wanders.

We had no magic! All the materia was gone, and Yuffie tore off northward. Her last words were that she had nothing to do with them. Them, of course, were soldiers attacking the guys up front, left only with bare weapons and armor. Vincent pulled me back a bit, and shot from just in front of me. Regardless of the loss of materia, it was over quickly. Our lagging buddies didn't even have time to come up the slope to help.

Materia isn't necessary for what I do, and limit breaks occur naturally, too. What hurt the most was Yuffie's betrayal. I was so disappointed in her. Kids being kids, no one expected saintliness, but the little delinquent really cleaned us out. With just our weapons and items, we could still hold our own in battle, but only just.

We agreed we could make it to Wutai intact. Then we found the first footbridge.

"Guys, tell you what. You go ahead, and I'll guard the Tiny Bronco." It would be a long way down again, but nothing could get me on another suspended bridge. Had every modern engineer on the planet sworn off bridge-building? These artifacts are on just about every continent.

I was suddenly enveloped in heavy black and red cloth, and lifted up onto a shoulder.

"You needn't worry about the height, since you won't see anything."

"Vincent, I can't breathe! Put me down!" Full panic mode took over; the bridge would break, and we'd all drop into the canyon. I was sure we were all going to die!

"Then you'd best calm yourself and conserve the oxygen. This is the first of three. You'll be released after all of them are safely past." His voice was curiously soothing, and he'd pinned my arms against his shoulder. I fixed my thoughts on conserving air and plotting revenge.

"Safely past" is a relative phrase. Divested of the cape and properly reoriented, my body registered its protest. My legs buckled and I sat down hard. I grabbed the grass between my fingers and just about kissed the earth.

"You ok?" Tifa looked amused. "Don't you just love a man of action?"

"Yeah, right. Thanks, Valentine. Remind me to pay you back some time soon."

As soon as I could, I stood and surveyed ahead. Wutai was a glittering spot against the seaside cliffs, a little gem set among otherwise dark, unpopulated mesas. It was a pleasant walk; the plains were dry. While most creatures ignored us, the birds were still pesty. On the other hand, they hoarded useful stuff. I never thought about birds being such collectors, but it was evidently true. Items can be just as good as magic, and plenty were dropping during each battle.

There were very few citizens wandering the streets of Wutai. We poked around a bit, and were met with guarded friendliness, a tight-lipped secrecy. These were Yuffie's people.

The place was totally Ancient Asia, a real remnant of prehistory, and so very appropriate a hometown for a ninja. Pagodas and gracefully carved roofs were everywhere, and a pantheon of stone gods watched over all from the cliffs. A real tourist trap.

While we were searching for our prodigal, we checked the tavern. Only to be confronted by Elena of the TURKS. We'd met earlier outside Gongaga, and had gotten along well until she realized I was with Cloud and Avalanche. Just business, no offense taken. I like the girl, but right now she was nearly hysterical, shouting at us and her two partners. Reno calmly tried to shut her up; they were on vacation, so forget it. Rude watched glumly, saying nothing. After her snit, she ran out the door, presumably to make a report.

Where's the excitement in being hitmen when they're bogged down with paperwork? Reno muttered to Rude to let her go; she was a big girl. Then he told Cloud that they really didn't want to mix work and pleasure. We should leave them alone. I felt vaguely dissed. We left.

We cornered Yuffie twice, but she fooled us both times. We even found her in a shouting match with her father! Godor may have been the boss of Wutai, but he clearly couldn't control his daughter. He, too, dismissed us. We had to get our materia, regardless of family quarrels. After a short rest break, we left to case a tiny pagoda across the walk.

Took a while to figure out its entry. It was all commotion inside. A strangely foppish man, totally overdressed by anyone's standards, was cackling and bragging loudly. He'd caught himself a couple of prospective brides?! The loon had both Yuffie and Elena. He sicc'ed his goons on us and disappeared with our girls.

We quickly dispatched the henchmen and spread out to search. The guys reconnoitered with the TURKS, and I headed up the face of Da Chao, the cliffside shrine. All through the carvings were footpaths, so no problem there. Trouble is, I was alone when I spotted the super-sartorial moron, gloating over his captives, whom he'd lashed to the cliff. I sneaked slowly, creeping along the path, as close as I could get to Yuffie. Didn't look down, didn't look right or left; just kept my eye on the girls.

That's how the Rapps--half insect, half dragon--found me. Barely had time to look up, when it flattened me against Da Chao. Fighting and shouting came to me through the buzzing darkness, and I passed out.

It took me a minute to clear my head enough to recognize Rude of the TURKS. "Are you able to stand? Let's get you down from here." Wrong thing to say! I looked "down" and threw myself against him, grabbing his suit coat in a bunch, trying to melt through him and into the cliff wall.

"Hey, hey, lady! What're ya doing???" He quickly regained his composure, but mine was gone completely. Acrophobia doesn't listen to words. I knew we were okay, but I was completely frozen, both mentally and physically, by the terror of the height.

"Thank you for your help. I can take her from here." Again from behind my back. No, please God, not Vincent! I thought it but couldn't vocalize it. I knew what would come next. He pulled me off the nonplussed Rude and floated off the path. The rest of the trip was facilitated by my compliant unconsciousness.

I awoke in Godor's manor. Yuffie was returning the materia. He was very sorry for all the trouble she caused. He would teach her a lesson; she would climb the Tower of the Five Gods. She would be tested to the maximum, maybe even killed. He was an enormous person, muscular and yet somewhat refined-looking, and he smiled dangerously as he spoke.

"Would you like to watch? It should be quite a show! Yuffie against the best fighters in Wutai. I'm the finale. You're invited to attend."

"Are you crazy? I don't want to watch you kill your daughter. What kind of father are you?" No way would I be a specator; it would be a very good time to search for temporary housing. Yuffie could be badly injured. I couldn't bear it.

Actually, I never doubted that Yuffie would survive the ordeal. Godor was a very indulgent daddy, considering the smart-ass mouthiness of his little darling. We understood one another well. He directed me to a small hut at the base of the cliffs, facing the ocean; a fixer-upper I could have if I wanted to stay in Wutai. Offer accepted, sight unseen.

The cabin was just a short distance from the hamlet itself, but still very secluded. Just some rooms, very simple. The floors were covered in dry mud; the place had been flooded by a spectacular storm. No matter; I now had nothing but time.

This would be my new home, and I had my share of the booty to rehabilitate and furnish it. Godor had also given me a futon, and I picked up windchimes in the tacky little materia/gift shop in town. The barest start. Cleaning would be a long process, a pleasantly unhurried chore. No immediate goal, except to remain in Wutai. Rather zen to have the ocean for backdrop.

After a pleasant day of cleaning and repairs, I fell asleep to the infinitely-changing sound of the breakers and seabirds. My final serene thought: One could age gracefully here.

Warming a Cold Trail

"Warrrrkkk!!!" The iridescent-green feathers looked surreal in the late morning light. Doors were definitely next on my to-do list. Who'd ever guess I'd catch a rare mountain chocobo, without even trying? I'd make a fortune breeding it!

"Let's go, Josephine. The others are waiting." Vincent's tone was urgent. He swung off the fabulous fowl and tied it to a nearby bush.

"Not me; I'm done. Yesterday proved that the battlefield is no place for me. Homemakers need a home." I choked as I said it; the pain filled my chest and came up my throat. Vincent ignored it, and spoke rapidly, oddly impatient.

"Nonsense! There are many more factors that win a battle besides the fighting. You have a gift for strategy, and we haven't yet seen your limit break."

He softened, yet still purposeful. "You don't want to cross the suspended bridges again, am I correct? Wutai warriors breed chocobos here; this bird belongs to Godor. It'll take us overland to the plane, and return home unbidden." He'd already collected my kit and was reaching for my arm. "Let's go, Lady."

Someone was running towards us. "Valentine, you big, stupid jerk! She's ours now; she wants to stay. You'll stay with Dad here in Wutai. Right, Fini?" Yuffie tried to stand up to Vincent, but failed miserably, height-wise. He spoke quietly.

"Wouldn't you prefer to keep her close, in our group? She's still married, still looking for her family. She can search for them with us." Yuffie looked contrite, conflicted, almost mollified.

"But you really like Dad, don't you, Fini?" So that was the crux. The kid wanted a mother. How did I miss that little detail? Dammit, I really craved some peace and quiet to put together my memory puzzle. Suddenly Yuffie seemed about ten years old, fragile and vunerable. She needed me more than I needed a nest.

"Are there more birds? Yuffie can come with us."

Vincent frowned. "I don't think..." But Yuffie interrupted, now a chattering teenager, happily pouring out stream of consciousness.

"No way! Chocobos make my stomach sick. Feather allergy; they go right up my nose. Lots of people are allergic. Or maybe it's the motion. Short rides are okay, though. The footbridges are cool, really historic, you know. Dad says..." She stopped and look right into his face. "Oh. Right, I forgot."

Vincent spoke quietly. "We'll take the bird and secure the Bronco. Tell the others that Josephine will come with me. An alternate route to bypass the bridges." I looked wistfully out the window; a bright, sunny day would have been perfect for a warm dip in the waves. I rolled the windchimes into the futon and gathered the mops and shovel. Yuffie grabbed them out of my hands and ran back in the direction of the village.

"Let me help you mount. There should be plenty of time to enjoy the ocean after we prep the Bronco. We've lost Sephiroth's trail. We need to backtrack and look for clues." I didn't answer, and saw no need to explain that, unless he could produce a bathing suit, there would be no quick swim when we arrived.

Yuffie was right about the motion, except that I found it hypnotic, not nauseating at all. Vincent rode behind me, and when I woke, he had wrapped me in his cape again. This time my face was uncovered. I tried to return it, but he insisted. "Your arms felt chilled. And I didn't cover your head this time." The first smile since Nibelheim; it was about time.

When we dismounted, the magnificent mountain chocobo spun slowly and deliberately on its dew-claw and loped off into the distance toward Wutai village.

The Bronco was untouched. We cleared the brush, primed the engine, and tested the starter and choke. Cid was a jerk, but at the same time an excellent teacher and a genius. "Master mechanic" doesn't touch the skills he possessed. He was also very precise in his instructions. Tiny Bronco aced the drill; we could relax and enjoy the shore. Vincent motioned toward the breakers, again looking impish. I nodded enthusiastically and shot right back.

"Well, take off those silly armored 'shoons,' and we'll wade." It was his turn to look uncomfortable. Just imagining a bare-foot Vincent Valentine made me grin and snicker.

He was not amused. "I don't think so." No surprise there. Now that the skinny-dip was pre-empted, we patrolled the beach, stopping to clobber the occasional Adamantaimai. Nothing to it with the materia... I felt a pang of guilt again. Why destroy animals in their habitat? Surely mutants had lives to live, too.

Cait was the first one back, materializing without warning. Never learned how he did that sudden-appearance thing. Quite a gizmo, all right. Had to be a wealthy, A-list so-and-so from Midgar's elite inner circle. Some sort of engineer, maybe: incredibly wealthy, most certainly. I thought back to Rufus Shinra's words. Could we have met? After all, who goes to formals? Government officials, Shinra suits, and the wealthy elite. I was itching to question the ridiculous hulk, but was also pretty certain the damned thing would lie. Creeped me out to even imagine the conversation.

Yuffie arrived with Red XIII, both giving us the fisheye and leading the rest of the crew. All very casual, you know. They had found the trip equally easy with the materia restored. Everyone clambered aboard the little plane, and braced for another cold, damp journey.

Rather than backtrack directly into possible Shinra traps, we skimmed the shoreline, up into the mountains of Central Continent, past a beautiful waterfall filling a pristine lake, and out the other side. We pulled onto the land's end; behind us was the wide inlet and the sands around Gold Saucer. In front, a pretty little hut sat in the middle of the peninsular. A good place to camp.

The lone inhabitant was a weapons maker, who excitedly related his recent visit with Dio, the owner of Gold Saucer. Dio now had the Keystone. "Wasn't that the clown who dumped us into that nasty, sand-locked prison? I asked. It still burned me to remember the false arrest and detention.

"Yeah, but he's also the one who gave us the buggy, as apology," returned Barrett. I sighed; we could sure use one now. It would be a long walk from the beach to Corelle. "C'mon, girl. You just had an ocean cruise. You could use the exercise." I popped him one on the side of the head, but he ducked fast enough to ease the blow. "Hey, don't go all bitchy on me. Killing the messenger? You won't die from a little walk."

And I didn't. Aerith and Tifa came with me to tease in some Chocobos with the lure materia. Not high quality, but a quick trip doesn't require a thoroughbred. Tifa was a little heavy-handed in battle and chased away a number of them, but a few hardier birds hung around for the greens. Aerith and I whispered until they let us mount. It amazed us how much more easily we could trap them now; we were getting good. And the yellow fowl responded to our manner. They are beautiful and smart; breeding them would bring satisfaction and wealth. Mental note taken.

Just looking at the neon-lit Gold Saucer made me gag, but I didn't care for the attitude we encountered in Corelle. What a bunch of crybabies; they scapegoated Barette for their lack of initative. Who was stopping them from rebuilding? Certainly not Shinra; they lost interest after the reprisals. What's one razed village or another to Rufus? Dio built a glittering wonderland next door, and these people neither sought work in it, nor tried to better their own little town.

Got no patience for that sort. Still, pleasure palaces are not my thing; I grew up ages ago. Not that I don't remember; I do. My girls just loved honky-tonk tourist centers, especially in the summer. Seems like my husband didn't, though. Where did we go? Northern Shore, was it? Cool, stony beaches that were refreshing in the hotter months. The memories were coming more easily. The guys left me alone to pull them together, mainly because I growled if they interrupted my reveries. They learned how I "looked" when I was remembering.

I went directly to the Haunted Hotel; let them negotiate with Dio. All the tinsel and commercial glitter left me cold. If I wanted sun, I could go out to the ropeway station and sit on the bench. Or maybe I would play the chocobos; they were interesting me more and more. There might be a career there, someday.

Everyone showed up unexpectedly: the ropeway was out. Another night in that silly place.

The next morning, I was more than ready to leave. There were too many special effects going on at all times. Not scary, just distracting. Good thing Reddie showed his fuzzy face and said that since we had a "Keystone," we would be leaving for Aerith's mysterious Temple of the Ancients. Good, this would be interesting. She really couldn't tell us much, because she didn't know. It would be a learning experience for us all. But first, another soaking on the Tiny Bronco.

Wrong, wrong, wrong. The guys returned, seething and keeping Cait at more than arm's length. Cid spat "Bastard gave the Keystone to Tseng of the TURKS!" While I didn't have a clue what a Keystone was, I gathered it really cost them to win it. Taken for fools, the men were beside themselves; there was nothing anyone could do. Cait wasn't a living creature, and we couldn't get at his creator/operator. Moreover, now Barette's daughter Marlene was taken hostage; we would have to cooperate.

Cooperate? The hell did that mean? Well, we were going to the Temple anyway, to back up the TURKS. They were probably already there. Shinra had the money, manpower, and ability to mobilize and move fast.

Back to the Tiny Bronco and another wet ocean passage.

Highwind and the Heel

By now, we were savvy enough to take precautions against the propeller spray, and we were much drier when we arrived on the jungle island southwest of Fort Condor. We pulled onto shore, where we could see the temple rising above the forest canopy. Aerith led us through the thicket easily, a woman entranced. Were we losing her? She was listening intently, her mouth working silently. Was she talking to the planet or the Lifestream, or both?

Vincent was suddenly very protective. The rest of us felt helpless, but he moved in slowly, taking her arm and talking in a low tone.

"Go slowly, Aerith. This place may be your Midheaven, but I have a very bad feeling that won't leave me." But she was already lost to that other world. The temple filled her being, overpowering her. She dropped and prostrated herself before the pyramid. The gloominess began to affect me, and I thought of just dragging her away from the looming structure. Then she smiled radiantly and ran lightly up the stairs. We had no choice but to follow.

Erk. More heights, although my terror was mitigated by broad steps. What bothered me more was the massiveness of the ziggurat, its unimaginable weight. I couldn’t wrap my brain around it, and my stomach reacted by tightening painfully.

Once inside, I scanned around the tiny room. Problem solved! The relief flooded my body to the bone. There was no opening for a stairway below. The guys were picking the place apart when Aerith gave a little gasp and began to cry. Tseng, the leader of the Turks, was in a corner, lying in his own blood. I dropped to his side and took his hand.

He struggled, insisting that Sephiroth had run him through without warning or cause. The former epitome of SOLDIER intended to kill us all, down to every last human on the planet. We should take the keystone and attack him en masse.

Tseng's injuries were clean and easy to heal, but I could not manufacture blood to replace what he lost. Sickened by the sticky pool around us, I concentrated on making him comfortable, cradling his head.

"I am still alive," he hissed at me. I then realized I was automatically going through his pockets. Not looting, not really, although I would certainly remove whatever I found, should he die. He might have some item that would help, blood loss is way beyond my abilities. I pulled out his phone. His eyes widened a little bit, just as the phone autodialed. Elena answered.

"I'm back to base, sir." Making a full report, no doubt. Geez, the life of a Shinra hitman is all paperwork and procedure. Count me out.

"Come to the Temple of the Ancients, Tseng is wounded." I tried to sound authoritative.

"Yeah, right. You killed him, and we're next." This was going to be tough. Try something else.

"Uh, whatever. Come get him." Then Tseng touched my arm, so I put the phone to his lips. He whispered one word I couldn't hear, and Elena snapped, "Copied. We're on the way."

Waiting was not an option; Sephiroth would never be nearer. Tseng tossed us the Keystone and fell back. We couldn't do much more for him, except offer him water, and try to make him comfortable. Cloud briefly consulted the others and resolved to go below, leaving the Captain behind with me. We could follow them afterwards. They inserted the Keystone into the center of the altar, it glowed, and the party sank through the floor. I was glad: just the idea of wandering through the bowels of that block of stone scared me. The ultimate enclosed space, it would have been a tomb in the very ancient days. Who knows if they would find their way out?

"Oh, boy! My best-est buddy!" Captain Highwind grinned. He knew I couldn't stand him.

Tseng was asleep; the call drained whatever energy he’d had. His breathing was regular, so I pulled Cid a distance away.

"You going to start that again, now? This guy is barely alive, and you're baiting me?" I whispered right into his face, digging his arm. He drew back a bit and smirked.

"Aw, he's tough as nails. You're such a pushover for the wounded ones. How come you got no sweetness for me, your old Captain?" Gawd, not again. I tried to be patient, if only to keep my voice muted.

"Because you are a perfectly DREADFUL person with a filthy mouth. You verbally abuse your wife, and she's a fool to put up with you." Calling Shera his "wife" always rubbed him the wrong way. So sue me. ”If I had a 'mommie wife' to clean up after me, I’d treat her like the lady she is."

"Shera's not my wife. And I'm not a bad guy, just a little rough around the edges. The armed services do that to a man. Besides, look at Barrett!" Here we go again; he didn't get it.

"Barrett is an absolute knight around women. We respond in kind. And whatever happened to being an officer and gentleman? That runs a long way back through my family. My grandfather would never even say 'darned' to a woman. A dragoon, just like you, and he married a bard." Cid whistled. Wow, maybe he would listen to reason.

"A lady bard and a dragoon, eh? I'm impressed, even if those days are gone forever. What about your parents?" Crap. Answering that would probably cost me some thunder.

"My father left the service to be an educator. Mum was a white mage before she began to have children." A letdown, but the truth. Hey, at least I could remember. If we ever get to the metropolitan Midgar area, we would dig them up, figuratively speaking. Lord, how ghoulish. I was sick with worrying about their actual whereabouts. Were they still living?

"Good enough pedigree in my book, Jo. But, hey, whatever; it's just the way I am. Take it or leave it." I left it to check on the wounded man.

Tseng was still out when the helicopter arrived. The TURKS gently gathered him into a litter, gave me a barely perceptible nod, and disappeared as quickly as they arrived. Cid stood holding his lance at attention, in tribute to the fallen warrior, or maybe as warning to our erstwhile adversaries. Anybody's call. Attitude shift since our run-in with that crazy pimp in Wutai, I guess.

"Shall we head down?" But Cid looked seriously perplexed, and I saw why. The Keystone no longer shone. The altar was dark. Looked like we would have to stay. Didn't break my heart; enclosed spaces give me cold sweats.

The Captain reached over to inspect the stone itself. As soon as he did, Cait Sith rose out of the floor and intoned "You rang?" The keystone was glowing again, so the Captain touched it once more and sank into the pyramid. I found a dry, clean path on the other side of the altar, and walked carefully along it to the outside.

"You're not going in?" The big toy was facing me. I dismissed it with a wave and turned to the sun. All the healing, hopeless as it was, left me drained. No good heading into what would likely be overwhelming stress. Enclosed space, random battles, and constant searching with no rest did not sound appealing.

"You trust me?" Unexpected question.

"Why do you ask?" I most certainly did not, but the topic was moot. We were stuck, but so was that stuffed behemoth. Anyone who belonged to Shinra would regret it, sooner or later. "What goes around comes around, buddy. Did they send you back here?"

"No, but they have it under control. I can still monitor. Let's talk: you have questions and I may have answers."

Of course you do, you son of a bitch! I thought it, but kept my mouth shut. No sense in cutting myself off from an information source. He would probably lie, but he would no doubt tell some truth. I couldn't imagine what could be so important. Neither could I think of why anyone outside of the research laboratories would know me. We stared at one another for a while, before I finally blinked.

"I'm listening." I stayed calm and tried to look neutral. The cat has a perfect poker face, so no clue there. I sighed and gave in. "Talk to me, Cait."

"Well, you know you're dead, right? Even Rufus thought so; Hojo won a big one there. Your family, actually everyone, was notified that your death was a laboratory accident. Two years ago. A fire, mako, materia, or something. There was a huge fuss over it, because there'd been one before. The professor dismissed it as caused by an inexperienced assistant handling volatile materials. After an inquiry overseen by Hojo himself, Shinra issued a full report to the public, promising that it couldn't happen again. Very tragic: the remains were consumed by the intense heat of the fire."

Not surprising, just depressing. Boy, I needed a drink. Then it occurred to me that anyone in Midgar could have known that, and I said as much.

"There's more. You were never supposed to be a research assistant. Oh, you were investigated and properly hired. But Hojo specializes in human experimentation. SOLDIER was his pet project: Sephiroth his greatest achievement. He was given a disproportionately huge budget." Cait was slowing down, almost musing. That last sounded like inter-departmental jealousy. My interest was piqued.

"Hold it! How do you know all this, then? Do I know you from the labs?" Couldn't hurt to ask.

"Sorry, Fini. Even when you can remember everything, you won't place me. You might place my girls. The doctor and the doctorate, we call them. An MD and a PhD assigned specifically to your case. They never gave away the scam, and worked personally with you. When you ditched everyone at Gold Coast, they panicked. They'd thought you were all friends; moreover, they worried about your ability to remember personal details. They kept discussing your departure, afraid for your mental health and your safety. That's when I decided to join."

I tried again. "The workers are your daughters?"

"Uh, no. Close friends." He sounded hesitant, unsure of his words.

"Yeah, well, I don't remember any doctors. Were they adversion therapists, more likely? What was so important that it was worth destroying my family? And what are they doing now; are they still connected to Shinra?"

"That I don't know, and I'm too tied up to investigate. I told them you're here, relatively safe, and that's enough for now. I do know what was so important." Well, finally. Maybe some answers were forthcoming. I needed a drink even more.

Cait froze, saying nothing for a few very long minutes. What now? I just looked at it, waiting. Then it hopped up and down once. "They've got Sephiroth with them! I can only hear. He's ranting like a madman; Cloud is, too. He's controlling Cloud. What? Something about the place being a storehouse. Wait, where’d he go? That's it, it's a huge battle now."

"Let's go help them!" I ran to the Keystone, but when I got there, the big hulk materialized, blocking my way. "Don't. They can handle it. They are handling it. It's just a dragon; Sephiroth's gone. Quiet down and just let me listen. We can't get there in time to be any use. Just let me listen."

The more I dealt with this clown the less I trusted it. I picked my way past the blood again, and sat outside to wait.

Dead Women Don't Fight Back

The sun had warmed me into a stupor. I was nearly asleep when I heard Cait talking. He was offering himself as some sort of sacrifice. The first thought that came to me was that it must be a trick, and the second, that I could lose my information source. He was sinking into the floor.

A short time later, the party rose up and rushed me out the door to the stairs. But it wasn't going to be as simple as that. I froze at the edge of the platform.

"Uh, guys. Why don't I wait here for Cait? He and I were talking, and we'll pick up where we left off when he returns."

Without word or ceremony, Vincent picked me up, not even onto his shoulder, and floated down the front of the ziggurat. My stomach emptied at the bottom. While I was wretching, the temple imploded. Good thing I was on my hands and knees; there was nothing left but a pit. Cloud, Tifa and Aerith climbed quickly down to the bottom, where Sephiroth waited. I couldn't stand the depth, turned away and vomited again.

"Ha, ha. Your turn!" Yuffied gloated. What a team we make, I thought. But the other women were shouting, their words garbled by the earthen sides of the pit. And the kid shook her fist towards the bottom.

"He gave it away! The Black Materia is gone! The only piece in the whole world..." I had no clue what she meant, except we must have lost something expensive.

It was too difficult to stand near the edge of the hole, so I closed my eyes and pulled myself a few feet away. Someone helped me to my feet, and I opened my eyes. Cait was right in front of me, talking to Vincent. Hey, wasn't he just crushed inside the collapsing pyramid?

"Did I come at a bad time?" Man, the thing had more tricks than a call girl. Everyone looked slightly spooked. When the others returned, Yuffie was rocking and keening, mourning "her" loss.

Sephiroth had struck again, mocking and manipulating our leader. So now Cloud was comatose. We'd barely unloaded one limp body for another. He didn't seem injured, and no amount of healing would wake him.

As I looked around at my comrades, I knew I was done with the whole scene. Memories were flooding back. Moreover, I was sure I could navigate back home. The gang was going to Gongaga to reconnoiter and wait out Cloud's recovery. They left me on the mainland, where I could lure a chocobo, and I headed to the metropolitan Midgar area to find my family.

It was surprisingly easy. Mum and Dad were staying in our condo near the center of the city. After an initial moment of joyous hysteria, my Dad threw me out. On principle, no less. If I chose to be a part of Avalanche, I was not their daughter anymore. Knowing my father, I decided that was that.

So everyone knew I was alive. Shinra'd made a short announcement that I'd faked my own death to join the terrorists! They instantly associated me with the attack on the reactor. A bit before my escape, but guilty by association. So be it; my husband would know me better than that. I headed to the Northern Shore, where we would normally be this time of year. Just outside of Midgar, just west of Kalm, we kept a small ranch that was easily accessible to the city.

The trip around Midgar was long and boring, but I passed it talking on the phone with the others. Good news and bad news: Cloud was awake and well, but Aerith had bolted. She would handle Sephiroth in her own way. Tiny Bronco was coming around the continent and I could rejoin at the Shore. Okay, I guess. Maybe I will--maybe I won't. A long-awaited reunion with my husband and daughters would change everything. I couldn't wait to see his face.

I hadn't thought much about it before, because it took forever to piece together the memories. The house was the same, and it was a perfect evening when I walked up the porch stairs. He knew I was coming and opened the door. His look stopped my heart. It was grim and sad, full of doubt and fear. I finally said, "Well?"

"Hello, Josephine. I'm glad you're alive." He stepped aside to let me in.

Wrong, wrong, wrong. Behind him was a small, very attractive, and hugely pregnant woman. It took about five seconds before I recognized his departmental coworker. After all, I was supposed to be dead. Neither said a word, eyeing me patiently.

"Where are my daughters?" I spoke as quietly and with as much control as I could muster. Let's not burn any bridges just yet. The twins are still my daughters.

"You'd best leave them alone. At least, until they're of age to decide for themselves if they want to associate with you. They're not here." Hoo. Bet someone wasn't thrilled when Daddy remarried.... I'd have to take the high road.

"Blessings on you both and your baby." I turned and walked quietly down the steps with as much dignity as I could manage, despite the shock.

It would be a very good thing to disappear as suddenly as I came; alone is not a good way to be when you're a wanted terrorist. Why didn't it ever occur to me that that was a possibility? It seemed so obvious now. I was numb and needed time to recover, so I slipped into the nearby woods and aimed for the beach. The clothes I was wearing had to go. I changed into a more feminine top and pulled my voluminous hair into a tight bun. When did I grow such a mop? Then I checked into an old inn I remembered from years back, dropped my stuff and went to the attached pub. Alcohol. I needed lots of alcohol.

The place was small and smoky, full of jukebox music and chattering drinkers. Good: out of the corner of my eye I could see a woman on the other side of the bar, about my age and demeanor. It would make me less conspicuous if there were other unescorted ladies. I stepped back, handed the barmaid some gil and asked for seven shots of the good stuff. Three for each hour and one nightcap. Any less and I might stay sober; any more and I would be sick.

I immediately felt like an idiot: it was my mirror-image across the bar. The last two years hadn't been so great for me, and it showed. So I slammed the first two jiggers and asked for a soda chaser. CutiePie Barkeep finished serving the shots, and complied, leaving a pile of cash. That was for her, and I told her so. She smiled sweetly and promised to take good care of me. Fine; I needed an ally tonight. The music was loud, and I just wanted to be left alone.

"Hey, Baby, how 'bout a dance?" Already? Must be the lone lady thing.

"No, thank you, I'm in mourning." I remembered the ring and held it up. Then I turned to sip my soda. The next hour passed pleasantly, and I watched people in the mirror. The jukebox was never silent, and the crowd got happier and busier.

Another guy came by. The first fellow was trying unsuccessfully to impede him. I refused to make eye contact, and just stared at my drink, coddling it with both hands.

"You don't look so sad to me, Sweetie. C'mon. Dance with us." He took my arm, and I shrugged him off. I shook my head, not wanting to argue, one drunk with another.

"Whassamatter? C'mon, let's dance, Baby." I braced to push him away, but he kept coming, not looking the least bit amorous. He narrowed his eyes and lunged.

And bounced right off me! He slammed back into the wall and slid to the floor. We both stared in amazement at one another. Then he remembered his dignity. He turned to the barmaid.

"You see that? The amazon socked me one! What the hell?"

"You did that! I never raised a hand from my drink!" But I had a good idea what might have happened. After all, I was sick and sad, beaten down from all the battles and bad news. I looked at the barmaid, insisting, "You saw. He did that himself!" His buddies were gathering around now, the lot of them grumbling and menacing. I was elated, my heart was pounding, and I hoped it would happen again. Or I was toast.

Mr. Wonderful approached more slowly this time, warily watching my hands. I tried to look at him innocently, wanting him to make my day. He reached towards me, this time smiling.

"C'mon, Sweetie. I get it; you want it rough, don't you?"

"It doesn't seem to me that the lady wants it at all. You would be wise to leave her alone. She's recently lost her husband, just as she said." Vincent moved in to my side, looking quite the gentleman in a long, dark coat. His face was impassive, but there was danger in his eyes. They were ruby red!

"What a jerk, picking on a bereaved woman in her first hours of mourning." Nice try, Cid. He almost sounded sincerely affronted. Both men were unarmed, but there could be no doubt of the outcome of any confrontation. The rest of the patrons returned to their seats to watch the fun. I stood up, and headed for the door. Party's over, I thought. I fairly floated across the floor, my feet skimming the boards. The moment was magical.

"Guess I'm done here. Music's too loud anyway." My escorts followed at a short distance, silently challenging anyone foolish enough to disagree. They let me have it with both barrels just outside the door.

"You dumbass broad! You could've been killed!" Cid still looked incredulous.

Vincent lowered his voice, but he was barely controlling his anger. "Why would it ever occur to you to go drinking alone? You surely must have a death wish!" Bingo. My eyes welled and overflowed, I choked it back and turned away. Yeah, that would be good.

"It's too late. I got back too late. I don't want to talk about it now. Leave me alone a while. A couple days, at least. I'll be here." The room was just across the parking lot.

"You are coming with us now. Right now and no argument. You can be alone another time; it's too dangerous here. Especially now that it's clear you are not a normal, everyday housewife." His eyes were warming to brown again, and twinkling. I relaxed.

Cid let out a huge guffaw. "Yeah, Jo, heckuva limit break. Whatcha gonna call it? How about Chastity Belt, huh? Get it? Belted him pretty good, too, Lady!" Even I was chuckling by then. The men smiled and, each taking an arm, escorted me to the rented room to collect my things.

Moving on seemed like a logical suggestion now. Might as well see how things shake out. We walked to the beach and joined the others.

The Northern Continent

The Northern Shore could sometimes be a little chilly, especially with its long-distance view of the Northern Continent. This was not a pleasant passage; we were dry but we were cold when we pulled up in view of Bone Village. The rising smoke looked cheering, but the archeologists didn't need us underfoot while they were working. We bribed them for some key items, rearmed and hurried along.

Much of this leg of our trip escapes me, since I was lost in my own thoughts. The Sleeping Forest was monotonous and the ruins of the City of the Ancients just looked to me like the bottom of a drained aquarium. Broken conical shells everywhere, all bleached in the pale sunlight. It was old, it was in ruins, and I wasn't interested. Where was Aerith?

Further in, almost hidden in a woodsy area was an intact shell-house near a spring, a mansion, no, a palace compared with all the others. A central staircase led to a huge cavern below. The stairs wound a long, long way down to an elegant city square. Why would anyone build an extremely high stairway with no railings? Was I the only acrophobe on the planet?

"C'mon, Fini. Aerith's probably down there." Yuffie teased me by grabbing my hand and giving me a playful yank to the end. To my abject terror, I lost balance and fell forward. Several steps later, it was plain that there certainly was some sort of field acting as a railing, only better. It was impossible to fall off these steps, but that was no comfort for me. After all, it could be as ruined as the rest of the city, with equally invisible gaps, even.

The phobic spell was not broken, but rather increased by the fall. Reddie came to my rescue and supported me while Yuffie gleefully took me step by step down the walkway, relentlessly descending. I was ready to kill her, but it worked. No longer frozen like a statue, my legs simply obeyed the law of gravity, and after the worst fifteen minutes of my life, we were in the ethereal square.

This was the true City of the Ancients, spreading out from the landing. The homes on the surface were simply a run-down suburb, ruined by time and the elements. The City itself was shining with internal light, otherworldly in its beauty, and completely bereft of inhabitants. For me, the utter silence was worsened by the sense that this desolate place had been a bustling metropolis. Now it was hollow and empty.

Not quite. On a sort of platform that looked like a little gazebo, was our missing ally. Aerith was on her knees, deep in prayer or contemplation. Maybe in ecstasy, because her face was exquisitely beautiful, peaceful beyond words. I could feel her serenity and instinctively moved closer to partake in it.

Cloud pushed everyone aside and went up to her. He said nothing, and drew his sword. And stopped, the weapon quivering in his hands. Our voices cut through the city, the only human sound in many years. Just one shout, all of us in unison, rising to a scream, as Sephiroth fell on Aerith and ran her through. She was dead. The monster retrieved his sword and began to taunt Cloud, rising high into the roof of the cavern, leaving us at the mercy of a hideous alien creature, and a battle that seemed to last forever.

This was my first encounter with Jenova. Her first assault kicked in Chastity Belt, and I pushed forward to help the fighters. Feeling invincible, I rushed at her, and she flattened me. Earlier, that blow would have been my death, but it felt rather like bouncing against a heavy-duty balloon, and I simply regained my footing. Although I was weaponless, Chastity Belt allowed me to be up front with the participants, healing and restoring, immune to even friendly fire. As long as they posed no threat, I could move in and even touch my allies, and while I tended them they were also protected. The battle ended before I was able to fully test my new toy. What a gift!

But Aerith was still dead, beyond our power to resucitate her. The battle had ensured that we could not get to her in time. We laid her remains to rest in the spring around the upper mansion and resumed our search for Sephiroth.

The meaning of her deep trance continued to vex me, as if I should know whatever it meant. I'd achieved that state many times myself, but only in the safety of the dojo or temple. And always surrounded by trainers, in the presence of a master. It's dangerous to go into deep contemplation by oneself. The veil between life and death is thin and easily breached; Aerith had to know that. And she wasn't alone, she was surrounded by the lifestream, at one with the very essence of those she loved. And yet, her very ecstasy left her vulnerable to Sephiroth, and he'd dispatched her easily, unimpeded. Why would she deliberately expose herself?

There was no time for mourning or even simple problem-solving, though. We arrived at Icicle Village, and I was looking forward to a hot bath and warm blankets. The thought of the next leg filled me with dread. The glacier and frozen highlands awaited.

The Glacier and the Guardian

"My grudge isn't with you, Ma'am. It's against Cloud." Elena of the TURKS was being sweet and polite to me, but her eyes were like flint. "He really did in my boss."

There was no way to convince her that we did not injure her Tseng. Cloud refused to fight back. Astounded, she sputtered, "Why didn't you..." and waited. He stalked off without answering, and we followed. This inter-gang relationship was becoming more complicated with each encounter. There wasn't time for explanations, however. The North Crater was still a long way off.

We spent the next several hours fighting numbing cold and disorienting blizzards, searching for a way to the Gaea Cliffs. It wasn't supposed to be all that far. We stopped when the majority of our party could go no further. It would be necessary to eat and rest and warm ourselves right on the glacier, in the midst of the baffling snow fields and pestering enemies. We weren't even able to pitch camp in the howling, biting winds. Here was the gate of the coldest of hells, and death waited on the other side.

I've always hated being cold, and could not imagine a more miserable way to die. Unable to even see each other, we waited for the inevitable. The shrieking wind was beginning to sound like human shouting.

"Let's go! Anybody who can, grab the others and come with me!" We obeyed, and found that we were close to a cottage at the base of the very cliffs we sought. Mr. Holzoff, explorer and elusive local legend, led us inside and helped drag the others into the warmth.

Barely able to move, I wasn't much help. The inside of the cottage was definitely cheering, but almost suffocatingly hot. I quickly lost consciousness. When I awoke, Barrett, Cait and Red XII were discussing our projected path up the face of the cliffs. Everyone else was still out. I hadn't gone "deep" at all, and had just thawed out normally. What was up with all the machismo -- no winter clothing, even for the skinny kid? I may have been a wuss for wearing a parka, but I was one of the first awake. Reddie had his fur -- and Cait? Well, if you aren't a living creature you can't die of cold.

Mr. Holzoff sadly intoned that he had lost comrades to the cliffs, but was willing to share his expertise, if only to prevent the dire losses he suffered. If we kept together, supported one another, and followed his directions faithfully, we just might make it.

As a result, the next leg was a piece of cake. Just learning that the caves were warmer than the exposed rocks restored us. There was even a healing spring in the topmost tunnel; it felt like cheating after hiking in a howling blizzard! We were through it and out the other side in no time. And as icing on that cake (for me, anyway), we fought a mutant that really deserved to be whacked. Damned Marlboro almost ended the whole quest in one breath. Being attacked by a gross-looking, mobile vegetable is just wrong, especially when the noxious plant is practically invincible. Made the Schizo dragon seem normal, the logical owner of the ice cave. Unfortunately for the latter, we had to kill it just to get through to the outside ice peaks. I was beginning to be sickened by all the dragon-slaying. Seems we could do better than destroy such magnificent creatures, even the mutants.

We climbed the highest ridge and peered over it. Color and light were swirling together and apart, interweaving inside and around the crater, rising like a geyser, then spinning into a tight funnel cloud. Was it the Lifestream, still working to heal the wound of the planet? We watched a while, hypnotized by the spectacular colors and activity.

Then a gory sight: Sephiroth was just ahead, slicing into dark, hooded figures, and dispatching them to the depths of the nearby crevasse. Cloud designated a group of three, and they advanced to confront him. Directly above us, a huge airship raced past toward the brilliant light show.

We followed, eventually catching up to our own, who were arguing with Shinra suits, including my erstwhile boss, Hojo. We filed in quietly. Cloud was caught up in some sort of ice and materia formation high overhead, and that was rapidly melting and threatened to collapse.

"Come, you belong to me. We need to leave immediately." Hojo demanded I return to his fold. No thanks. I moved away from him and bumped into one of the suits. I tried to back away, looking for my comrades. Then someone took my arm and pulled me out from under the growing waterfall.

I realized too late that Rufus was herding us towards the airship. They dragged me on board, along with Barett and Tifa. We were immediately separated into different staterooms, doors locked from the hallway. A short while later, we deplaned on a long runway with the ocean stretching out on three sides. My friends were nowhere in sight. A small contingent of Rufus' people hustled me through the nearest door, down a hallway, across a boulevard, up a tramway and back into what seemed to be an upper floor of the original building. I think so, anyway. This was a base: there was an enormous cannon and the buildings themselves were armored. Likely both an air and naval port.

It irritated me to be once again a prisoner, although I was glad enough that I wasn't Hojo's guest. I would learn more over the next few days, while I languished, fed and comfortable but bored, in a tiny holding cell. I was allowed a monitor, through which I was fed the usual Shinra news, semi-technical presentations and official drivel. I didn't lend much credence to anything on the monitor, but two stories caught my eye.

Biggest news was Meteor, and that was blamed on Avalanche giving the black materia to Sephiroth. That sounded true enough, although I missed the actual transfer up in the crater. There was surely something wrong with Cloud; he messed up anytime Sephiroth was near. They must have been together, hanging in the ice and materia overhead at the crater.

On the bright side, Shinra promised to punish those responsible for the calamity. There would be a series of public executions broadcast from Junon, and I would be one of the guests of honor! Disturbing to see my image on TV, the old, shorter hairstyle looking very blah, especially with the ugly standard-issue laboratory glasses. I've always hated the Network, and this did not endear them to me further. A day later, a uniformed sentry opened the door and stepped back to allow Rufus to enter. He smiled casually, almost benignly, at me. The hair rose on the back of my neck.

"Hello, Josephine. We meet again." The guard placed his back to the door, covering the small window to the hall. I didn't like the looks of that action, and backed into the far wall. Rufus walked right up, lifted my chin and smiled down into my face. Only he could turn the angelic "blond hair and blue eyes" model upside down. Evil with a pretty face and silky voice.

"Let's have a little talk. Maybe we can strike a deal, my dear." Who was he calling his dear? Nausea was beginning to rise into my throat.

"What do you want to know, Sonny?" Wrong answer. He backhanded me across the face, practically snapping my neck. Then he quickly reversed and repeated the slap with his palm. Maybe it would be better to say nothing at all. Blood was replacing the bile at the back of my throat. I stared back, unblinking. Geez, what did he want, anyway?

"Good. You learn fast." He slipped his arm around my waist and pulled me to him. Yikes! Not my cup of tea. Automatically, I pushed as hard as I could with my fists into his midriff, and managed to separate us. I braced against the wall and set my face. And was rewarded with a series of sharp jabs around the eyes and mouth. Creepy sicko...

"That's what you think, Momma." He recovered very quickly, sure of his advantage, and punched me in the chest. Just the right move. Even though I nearly puked from the impact, I felt the familiar elation, and pushed my whole body forward as hard as I could. He bounced backward, recouped and lunged again.

This time he hit the Chastity Belt. He was slammed backwards against the guard, and the two of them made the wall rattle. Alarms rang through the hallway. Did I do that?

Maybe not. The public address annouced a Code Red, not a drill. Weapon was approaching. Well, okay, but what sort of weapon? After all, there are weapons and then there are weapons. I snorted aloud at my addled thoughts.

Rufus looked annoyed and then worried. He straightened his tie and jacket, nodded to me, hissed something to the guard, and bolted out the door. The sentry stepped into the hallway and closed the door behind him.

The alarms continued and announcements came fast and repeatedly. There was a surge and shifting of the floor. After a short silence, a series of huge shocks rocked the building. Another enormous shift followed another surge, and then relative quiet reigned. The door opened and the halls were filled with running soldiers.

"Come with me. Let's get out of here!" The guard pulled me through the door and up the hallway into an empty lecture hall with a wide projection screen up front. The sound of ocean and wind came from a door to one side. My guard shoved me into that room and shut the door behind us, securing it as if it were an airlock.

I faced him and waited for an explanation. He looked shocked and sad, but turned immediately upward at an opening torn into the ceiling of the room.

"He decorated your face real good, the bastard. Up here. It should lead to the turret." Turret? The cannon? He grabbed the edge of the hole and pulled himself out. Then he reached down for me. I hesitated. What now?

"Trust me. It's all I can do. I didn't know; he was only supposed to interrogate you. Let me help now." Oh well, what the hell. I didn't have any better ideas. I reached up and he hauled me onto the building's shell. Even through the adrenaline rush, that hurt enough to stop my breath, and he left me face-down on the metal surface.

This was facing the cannon's still-hot barrel, and when I picked myself up, I could see the end smoking slightly. There were two women near us, in the middle of hand-to-hand combat. I moved toward them, recognizing my ally Tifa and Shinra's Scarlett.

Not quite combat: more of a catfight. Tifa was giving as good as she got. Even better, knocking the other off her feet, all whiny bitching and gesticulation. Beyond Tifa hovered that enormous airship, closing in slowly. It moved away and made another pass at her, but this time she jumped right at it and fell onto some ropes. She was lifted onto the ship.

That made no sense to me, so I turned away, frazzled. Where else could I run from here? My protector stopped and blocked me. I was losing my balance. I didn't like the height but the ocean seemed safe enough. The wind, the roar of the waves, the airship engines, the discomfort and all the battle noise were confusing me. The loser of the slappy contest was running toward us, sort of. Spike heels and a tight satin gown were certainly working to our advantage; she would never catch up to us. Wierdly wired chick, that one. I paused briefly to enjoy the spectacle, then returned to the sentry.

My new buddy was looking over my shoulder, astonished. I heard, or rather felt, a body thumping down behind me, so I turned to look back again towards Scarlett. I smacked into some familiar black fabric and was lifted off the cannon, gasping in agony. There was another small shock and my companion was shouting that he was coming, too. I could feel hands grab at my arms and waist, and then I was flat on the airship's deck, looking up at Cid, Vincent, Barrett and my fellow escapee. From the looks on their faces, I knew I shouldn't enter any beauty pageants soon. But there wasn't a Shinra suit or uniform in sight.

The airship was ours? Cid grinned, "Welcome aboard the Highwind, Jo."

Well, well. The good guys win one, for a change. Aching, I tried to get more comfortable and rolled over to one side, nearly smothering Yuffie. Green was definitely not her best color. Motion sick again, poor kid. Cheer her up, why don't we?

"Ha, ha. Your turn." I couldn't resist. My face hurt.

"Who does your makeup, Fini? I'd sue if I were you."

We made a good comedy team.

"Say goodnight, Yuffie."

"Huh? It's broad daylight."

Never mind.

Encounter in the Stateroom

I thought I was just being a crybaby, but the others were indignant that Rufus had roughed me up. I knew enough to grab a stateroom for some “deep” rest. The world could wait, could it not? Anyone who specialized in earth science was making estimates for Meteor’s impact. Days? Weeks? It was impossible to tell without any sort of station in space for proper perspective. Whatever. After a few hours, I was refreshed enough to reconnoiter with reality.

My knight was Jim Ryu, a lifer with the Shinra elite military. We needed to keep his presence with us under wraps. He was no doubt listed as one of the many casualties of Weapon’s attack on Junon. If they took the time to pick up the pieces and investigate my escape, he would join us on the WANTED displays.

Cloud was nowhere on board. It was clear from Tifa’s moping that he was not among the rescued. Cid, on the other hand, was excited and chatty about the recovery of his “Bikini Goddess,” so I let him fill me in. The Highwind’s crew hated Rufus, and were waiting for an opportunity to mutiny. My friends had been with Cid when the ship’s command reverted back to him, or shortly thereafter. Except for Cloud, we were all together again. It seemed natural that the Captain would take over the operation.

We began to search for our missing leader. There was a dome capping the crater. The Highwind, with all its power, simply could not breach it. Could there be another way to approach the search? We began to canvass towns already visited. Icicle Village was first on the list.

Snowboarders spoke lovingly of Mideel, a tropical resort known for its rare above-surface flow of Lifestream. A warm-springs town with a health spa and clinic, it was Mecca for anyone injured on the slopes. Icicle Inn’s EMTs encouraged those recuperating from broken bones to go there to heal.

Another tourist trap. The men moved around through the shops, but Tifa locked right into a lead. Cloud had indeed surfaced in the Lifestream, nearly comatose from an overdose of mako exposure. She would remain with him; she was useless to us now.

We left Tifa with our blessings. The end of the planet meant nothing to her. Her loyalty was touching, but we needed to move ahead. We did indeed care about preventing the end of the world.

Their absence left me blue, recalling how bereft I felt over my own family. The easiest thing to do was stare through the cockpit’s windshield: the earth passed below us in a blur of blue and greens, and the clouds formed a lacy filter in between. Time did not exist while I watched this, and it eased the pain.

“You miss your husband?” Vincent leaned against the window, facing me.

“Not really. Well, yes: he was a good guy.” I felt a bit ashamed at my weakness.

“I lost my family, too. My parents died years ago, long before Sephiroth burned Nibelheim. And other family members lost their lives defending the town. My son is grown. Alive, but his childhood can never be recovered.” He didn’t look sad, just full of wonder.

So was I. Son! He’d never said anything about it before. My daughters weren’t dead either, just unavailable, and I had their childhood to remember. I reached out to stroke his shiny hair, then pulled back. He noticed my reaction.

“What’s wrong?”

I gave a short laugh, and my maternal instinct kicked in.

“Vincent, your hair is full of snarls. It looks all shiny, but…” He cut me off, seemingly more amused than I, or maybe just wishing to end the somber mood.

“It’s back in a queue, so what’s the difference? It’s out of the way.”

“You can’t leave it like that! What a shame. Otherwise, it’s beautiful.” Just then I looked up, feeling self-conscious again. We’d caught the attention of Cait and Jim and Barrett. This was too much; I thought, I’ve got to learn to keep my opinions to myself. I moved to the doorway, but Vincent followed me.

“Do I disgust you, then?” What now?

“Are you kidding? It’s just hair. I’m being a mommy, is all. It’s from having daughters. It’s easier just to comb it out now than to have to cut it out later.”

“So have at it, if you like. The hair does not matter to me, but if it bothers you…”

Without another word, I took him to sit in a stateroom and began to pull out the snarls. His was perfect, thick and silky hair, just as one would expect, since it wasn’t brushed or blown for decades. It didn’t look any different when I finished, so I wound the scarf back the way he wore it. What was I thinking? Vincent was right: just ignore it. The embarrassment overwhelmed me and I pulled away. Vincent blocked me in the hall. His eyes were deep maroon, very serious and he spoke quietly, barely audible.

“You are not my mother, Josephine. I’m just delighted to be able to make the other men jealous of your attentions.” Then he was gone. “The others” were watching the whole thing, but said nothing. How awkward! C’mon guys, bust me, or something.

“So who’s next?” I held up the comb, in mock threat. “No one? I thought not!” I closed the door to the stateroom, and headed to the operations center, where I could have more solitude.

Vincent had a son! The boy would be in his thirties. That would make his Dad somewhat younger than him, I should think, although Vincent sometimes seemed older than me. We joked about him being on the high side of fifty, making him the august elder of the fellowship. All dignity and pride, he kept to himself most of the time, talking less than even Cait or Reddie. He was appalled by his limit breaks, which became more beastly and bizarre with each level. It didn’t matter to the rest of us: they were just Vincent’s repressed violent side. I mused over the meaning of it all. Who needs to repress violence when he can just shoot the problem full of holes? Must be a lot of anger there. Mental note: don’t provoke Vincent. So, what happened to his son’s mother? Did she survive Sephiroth’s destruction of Nibelheim? Did she survive Vincent?

My husband, he’d said. Not mine anymore; their baby needs a father. I hoped I could keep it that way in my head. Ms. Lindorm! I’d never given up my maiden name entirely, so the transition wouldn’t be too tough. If we ever survived Meteor, I was on my own, Miss Josephine Lindorm again, after almost two decades.

”Ahem.” No solitude on this ship. It was Cait. Oh, right. He’d promised me information. Did I want more information? My conclusion was, “Not really.”

“When we get a chance, I have people for you to meet.” It sounded urgent.

“Your doctorals, your girls?” An ugly thought: What is he, a bigamist? A Shinra higher-up would be able to afford a lot of perks, and a few ladies might be among them.

“Yes, but there’s more.” He stopped again.

“Cait, I’m sick of this. There’s always more with you. Stop being a damned drama queen and provide some facts. Or leave me alone. I’ve found enough trouble as it is, already.” I was spitting nails, and needed to shut up and calm down. The airship was worse than a tenement building. The noise of the engines covered a lot of racket, but the proximity of the crew and our group made eavesdropping unavoidable. I returned to “my” stateroom, where I’d been a prisoner, shut the door and punched the mattress. Just once, because it felt silly. What I really wanted was to punch the wall, or a door, or even better, a window. The ship was entirely bullet-proof, retrofitted for Rufus’ personal use. Being a lady was no longer an option for me, so I buried my face in the pillow and screamed a few obscenities. When that felt ridiculous, I sat on the bed and pouted. There was a timid knock. Oh, well.

“Come in.” The silly stuffed behemoth hopped in. A thought occurred to me.

“Talk to me, Cait. I’m starting to remember the formal dance a few years back.” The poker-faced cat stood still. A machine, just an expensive toy, really. A wealthy man’s wind-up toy. I knew I would figure it out soon, so I could bluff. “We danced.”

“Fini, you danced with a number of us. And my girls asked your husband, too.”

“But he refused.” Another bluff. He wouldn’t dance with anyone, even me. He hated dancing. Furthermore, he was a lousy dancer. We had an agreement: I would dance, to fulfill our obligation without involving his two left feet. He allowed himself to be dragged into a slow one now and again, because I was usually already taken. That, however, was rare, and I would certainly remember, because I would tease him about it for ages.

Most of the suits were overweight and, frankly, gross, but not all of them. I would definitely remember a slow one with one of those hogs. I needed a little more time, and I would work it out.

“What did you want to say? I’m sorry I got upset. It doesn’t get me anywhere, but it’s just the way I am.” Apologizing to a one-time traitor, disguised as an oversized moogle! This was surely going to give me nightmares.

“You need to come to Midgar, to your family condominium. It just wouldn’t be right to tell you here. My girls can visit with you there. We can make things right.” He was talking fast, and it sounded to me as if he were making it up as he went along. The sick feeling was coming back. Not a memory, but a certainty.

“Why can’t you tell me now?” That’s when it really hit home, pulled together serendipitously. All the hints and details were making sense. Together they made perfect sense.

“They have someone else to show me.” My eyes were stinging with tears, and I could hardly breathe. No, I didn’t remember yet, but I couldn’t escape the conclusion. “The girls have my baby. Right? Is it my husband’s child, too? I’m Hojo’s Latest Lucrecia.” That made me the mother of a monster.

“Fini. Don’t cry, I promise you we can make it all right. We don’t have your baby. Babies, actually. They are well, and happy, and normal, and you can meet and hold them.” Then he ran out of words.

When my world tilted 90 degrees, I was talking to a massive moogle topped by a tuxedo kitty. I was glad I was sitting down.

Zen and the Madwoman

How could I let that happen?

I didn't let that happen: my tubes were tied to protect my failing health after the twins. In vitro, likely; against my will, obviously. How did I survive such a risky pregnancy? I already have some idea: my Jenova gift for healing. The doctors would have the rest of the answers, according to our spy. There would be no more disclosures.

"Cait, if nobody knows, don't tell them. We can make arrangements to go to Midgar, but not to the condominium. I don't live there anymore, so we'll need to visit elsewhere. An inn will do. A disguise would probably be a good idea, given that Shinra wants me dead. Who knows? Maybe the people agree." We left it at that, while I tried to prepare for the encounter. Perhaps the weapons maker could help.

Target practice would clear my head and fill a need to be more useful to the group. Captain Cid looked unsure, but dropped me near the small hut on the peninsular south of the Gold Saucer. They were searching for the Huge Materia, and would check the reactor north of Corelle.

The weapons maker sold me a gorgeous bow, and cut and fletched a large number of arrows. I would assemble them as needed. The bow was adjusted for my current level--and lack of practice. I'd work my way back. I have never owned, or even held, such a fine bow: I felt unworthy of its craftsmanship and fondled it lovingly. Perfectly finished, unmarked except for the maker's name, Yoichi.

"She's beautiful. Your work?" He inclined his head proudly, and barely stretched his lip. No? Yes? Whatever. The quiver itself was a piece of art, and for the first time in my life I felt prosperous, even extravagant. We stepped outside, and I notched a few, just for the feel of it. Another adjustment and I felt abler and happier than I'd been in weeks. He said he "would leave me to play a while." Hey, it'd been a very long while. Years, maybe. I could hit the target, but not its center.

After a few hours, the maker came out to shoo me away. I was focused and didn't notice him walking toward me. The sound of each shot, more like a dart than an arrow became my target. Those drove themselves deep into the center.

"Pull upwards as well as back. You want to straighten your arm." Another Zen master, I noted wryly. We would need power and speed, not style, and I told him so. He scolded.

"If you train properly, you won't need speed or power or even sight. Give yourself to the bow, become the bow. And the arrow: will yourself to the target."

He was correct, of course, but there wouldn't be time to learn the technique. I promised I would return to train properly when and if Meteor was stopped.

Then I buzzed Captain Cid's PHS, with no luck. Nor could I reach the others; only the crew of the Highwind answered. The party had gone to the Corelle reactor, hoping to intercept Huge Materia destined for a superweapon. No problem. I would lure a chocobo; since I was armed, the nearby enemies were manageable.

I assembled a few broadheads and rang around one more time for anyone who could give me a status report. No luck, but no matter.

The lure was maxed out and a smaller female practically begged me to ride her. Charmed, I cuddled her neck and climbed on quickly. "Oh yes, I could get used to you, little darling," I whispered to her, and she cooed back. After a leisurely trip, Corelle was a busy vision unfolding ahead. The town was full of people milling around a locomotive and a few cars. Our boys had prevented a major wreck, and Barrett was now a favorite son. The jubilant locals were gloating. They'd stuck it to Shinra again, collecting Huge Materia in the bargain. Barrett would always be welcome in Corelle, and was invited to return later to help rebuild.

The guys called the Highwind, and I stepped outside of town to release Little Darling, promising to return for her when the time came to pursue Chocobo Breeding. The airship appeared overhead, hovered and landed. My little one was all grace and sunny color as she beelined for her own neighborhood.

Cid ordered the ship to Mideel. The surrounding woodlands were oddly silent, empty of enemies, or even friendly creatures. The calm before the storm? Impending earthquake came to mind. Once again, Tifa was all apologies. She would not leave Cloud; we would have to move on without her.

The stillness broke and the whole area shook, making the little clinic unsafe. We moved outside to wait out the quake. And ran into Weapon. "How?!" I screamed at Barrett. How could Shinra's cannon blast have failed to eliminate it?

"Not the same Weapon. Shinra killed the Sapphire Weapon at Junon. There's lots more. I don't know this one, but I'm sure it'll destroy the town. They just go around tearing up anything built by humans."

Weapon unleashed a full-force Ultima attack, flattening us in one blow. One by one, Cid, Reddie and Cait recovered and hit it with everything they could. Barrett, Yuffie and I healed one another and formed the backup, to cure and take over where needed. But the monster had something else on its mind, and after a confusing few minutes, simply lifted up and left.

"Wait! I didn't get anything!" Yuffie spat out an expletive and shook her fist skyward.

"Give it up, kid. Bet there'll be a next time. Hey, where's Tifa and Cloud?" Barrett ran frantically toward the clinic, but our two friends were safe. Tifa tried to turn back, but the ground was swelling again, this time of itself. It heaved high enough to drop everyone to their knees. When we could regain our footing, they were gone from sight, and the place was in ruins. We gave up after a few hours of searching, but our buddies rose from the glimmering waters, and everyone was again accounted for.

The Lifestream had swallowed and then returned them. Tifa and Cloud seemed perfectly normal, albeit worn out, barely awake. And they insisted Cloud was healed! Later he was not only awake and aware, but also clear in his resolve to fight. He and Tifa were guided by the Lifestream in their search for his origins. Cloud didn't seem any different to the rest of us, but Tifa was unusually serene and happy. The two had undergone some sort of psychic and emotional transformation amidst the swirl of many ages of consciousness.

A theory was forming in my mind about the Lifestream. Aerith could listen and consult it when she was alive. Might she not be still available to us? The only kink in my theory was that neither mentioned her. It was all about Cloud, as usual. Sheesh. Like we didn't notice he was all mixed up about his SOLDIER past.

The next stop was Junon. Again, not my favorite place, so I took a miss on this one, while they headed down the huge elevators to the underground reactor. A short while later, Yuffie and Cait called for a pickup. The others were chasing a submarine just off the coast: Huge Materia had been loaded right before their eyes. Yuffie wouldn't board the sub, and Cait would take up too much space that didn't really exist on board. We watched for signs of battle.

Who knew Shinra had a submarine fleet? The water was broken here and there, just off-shore with the occasional upwelling of a direct hit. There was no fear of retaliation by the Cannon; it was gone, taken elsewhere. Scarlett must have gotten other Huge Materia for her project.

No contact by phone, and we worried over each disturbance of the surface. Finally, a lone silver vessel rose and docked in the slip outside the city. We rushed the Highwind directly overhead. We could still prevent this Huge Materia from being taken for the Cannon. But a bright golden spike cut showed at the airlock, and the ship unloaded all our friends and a few uncertain-looking others. The latter did not join us, but released at the landing, they returned to Junon.

The existence of the undersea navy preoccupied me. Why so many subs with no threat from the sea? When I mentioned this to the group, they agreed we would have to learn more. Shinra did not waste money on toys. We would need to crew it ourselves, because the rest would continue overland and from the air. Now we could attack from many different elements, so we spread out. Cid had intelligence to suggest that Rocket Town should be our next target. Vincent was chosen to lead the submarine recon. He consulted with Cloud regarding the controls, and seemed satisfied he could operate the craft.

Me and my big mouth and great ideas; I should learn to keep my opinions to myself. My knowledge of all things natural includes earth science, and that would be needed to navigate the global underseas. I protested: not only do I not know a whole heckuva lot about undersea formations, but the thought of traveling in that metal underwater tomb made me sweat icewater.

No good. If Cloud could face his fears in the sub, so would I. There are no undersea enemies; there would be no battles; our interests were purely scientific and reconnaisance. I was cheered that Reddie volunteered. We would hug the shoreline and investigate undersea grottoes. Even remembering and writing this makes me sick at my stomach. Crybaby? You bet, real girlie like. But after a while, the magic of undersea beauty captivated us all, making this one of my fondest memories, full of soft pulsating sonar tones and muted blues and greens.

The peace of our undersea voyage was broken only once, and that was mostly in our own minds. Yet another Weapon materialized in front of us when we exited a cave. But the big green monster simply lumbered past, taking no notice of us. We didn't even need to stay out of its sight; it just wasn't interested in us.

Our first find was directly under the Northern Continent, easily the eeriest thing I've ever seen. Long and slim, like a golf tee, with spikes at varying heights, going in all directions from the axis. We radioed a description of this odd formation to the Highwind, but they were way ahead of us. It was some sort of key. It didn't look like any key I could remember. Vincent and Reddie were much more open-minded, though, and enthusiatically collected the artifact for study. We headed southwest, into a tunnel of sorts that ran under the Central Continent. When we radioed our position, the crew of the Highwind informed us that Cid, Cloud and Barrett were on the rocket ship "liberating" the Huge Materia. Sounded like a plan; we copied back and we ducked under the continental shelf.

Stupid passageway went on forever. The water got clearer and brighter as we went along, and that for me was a blessing. We surfaced in fresh water. Our beautiful Central Continent waterfall was roiling the lake that was otherwise perfectly clear. The sub was able to dock just beyond the rapidly churning water, and Vincent led us around and into the falls.

Don't you just love waterfalls? So did I, but not anymore. This one was very high and very violent, making me fearful of losing our footage. Any mistakes and we would lose a man, something that would be difficult to explain to the rest of our fellows. But Vincent pushed on, lured by the idea that something was behind the falls. He found an entry, worn by past use and shielded from the crushing flow.

The inside cavern was full of light. Reddie chortled, "Mako, must be mako! New materia! Yuffie will be so jealous." He gloated at the thought of our ninja missing the Mother Lode. Then the light spoke directly to our companion.

"Vincent." He stood transfixed, oblivious to everything else. He barely whispered.

"Lucrecia." Lucrecia? The "treatment" must have really taken hold in her. Her aura was the most glorious display of light energy we'd seen thus far. My heart began to pound with anticipation, and I held my breath. She would certainly be a welcome addition to our group.

Lucrecia asked about her son. Her dear, dear Sephiroth. She'd been hiding for many years. From what? She was surely very powerful, if the light emanating from her was any sort of an indication. But she rambled and mumbled almost incoherently. Vincent tried to speak in soothing nothings, resigned that she was lost to the world.

I was not. "Lucrecia, let us help you! Come with us; you can help us. You don't need to hide from us. We can support one another!" But Vincent signed for me to stop, so I tried to swallow my anguish. Lucrecia was insane, even suicidal, and had been a recluse for decades. If Vincent slept, Lucrecia clearly did not. She was the human embodiment of impotent regret. "Sephiroth is dead," was all she needed to hear to start again about her sins. She'd dedicated her life to trying to die. Thirty years of trying to punish herself for her part in Hojo's Grand Experiment. She'd never even held the baby in her arms. The thought sickened me. I tried again, stepping towards her.

"Lucrecia, you don't have to die. We are searching for answers. You won't be alone." But she unleashed a brilliant field against us, pushing us back. She wanted to be alone, and we would have to leave. Vincent resolutely turned his back to her, and walked to the opening. He stopped momentarily to touch my face, and his hand came away wet: her impotent sadness was contagious. She gave us no choice but to leave.

Just beyond the reach of the waterfall and churning water, we stopped. Reddie walked alone to the sub, while I washed my face at the lake's edge. On its surface, I could see Meteor expanding in its reflection, seeming to come apart. Vincent said that they'd hit it; Meteor was exploding! We were saved. The planet was saved.

But of course it wasn't. Meteor was large enough that its own gravity reformed it. The exploded parts regrouped, and it slowly returned to its original shape. This time I cried, out loud and all out, luxuriating in my grief: the past weeks, my unmet babies, my lost normal self and the life of the planet. They were all one in the same, all facing obliteration. Vincent picked me off the ground and led me to the sub.

"Vincent. If Meteor is stopped, is that what we can still expect? A sort of glorious madness, and that awful impotence? Then Meteor is not so scary. Why bother to fight?" I looked up and remembered: what happened to Cloud and the others? Were they killed in the impact? Did Cid finally make it into space only to go up in flames, sucked into Meteor?

Vincent lifted his PHS. "Where are the others? Nothing? To where--the City of the Ancients. Right. We'll meet you there." He listened some more, then herded me into the airlock. There was no news of our comrades, but the artifact had been identified as the "key to the music box in the ampitheatre." I could make no sense of it and would just have to trust that there was some sort of music box in the Lost City.

"We can meet the Highwind just the other side of this mountain range. There's a slip on the shore." Oh, wonderful. It would require a trip all the way back through the damnably long tunnel and around the Central Continent again. We also found our huge green buddy, now called Emerald Weapon, just as we reached the slip. He was guarding some sunken wreckage. We reported it to the Highwind.

"Hey, hey! I'll bet that's a recent Shinra loss. Cargo plane? Gotta be a Gelnicka, right out of Junon." Cid came back at us! We were all together again.

The Ogre and the Officials

Cid was determined to check the Gelnika wreckage; a cargo plane would likely have some "good stuff." We would definitely check before we moved on to the Northern Continent.

In the meantime, Vincent wanted to revisit Lucrecia's waterfall, and this time I wasn't invited. Oh, was it something I said? Wouldn't hurt my feelings to miss a second visit. Heart-rending as her story was, I couldn't help but feel she cooperated in her own undoing. And thirty years seemed enough time to recover from, well, just about anything. I did not mention my conclusions to Vincent. Perhaps he needed some closure. Or maybe he hoped to coax her out of her self-imposed exile. At any rate, he was going alone. He could easily drop from the ship and float directly down to the side of the falls. I missed his departure, though, because we were preparing for our dive.

Cloud volunteered to operate the sub, so I directed us to the Gelnika. Cid was excited; intelligence from his crew promised weapons and other battle items. Mooring the sub onto the wreck was a given: a little trial and error did the trick. Then we had to exit the airlock, and after a few scary seconds of SCUBA-less diving, Cid was in. We followed.

Once again we were preceded by the Turks. Too bad we couldn't just join forces and cut back on the transportation costs. And the fighting. It was clear that no one really wanted to kill each other anyway. We were just going through the motions. I really admired Rude; no one had more cool going on than he did, hands down. Sunglasses even while fighting, at the bottom of the ocean, no less! And Reno was growing on me. Little fellow (just a bit taller than I am) with a lot of spunk, rather like our own spiky-haired leader. Only much more the seasoned Shinra employee.

The creatures infesting the Gelnika were awesome. They were utterly repulsive, more so than even Jenova, and much more alien. I've never been so busy healing status injuries as in that wreckage, and scared that we'd be unable to survive each battle. But, all our limit breaks were being called into action, and after a while it became routine. We'd allow the creature to pummel us, while I was dedicated to curing and healing. That made limit breaks better than most of our other abilities and even magic. Even though I found our enemies to be bizarre and somewhat loathsome, they were only monsters, after all, not immortals. A few hours later, we returned to the submarine and the surface, richer by many more weapons and source items than when we submerged.

Back on the Highwind, we were met by Vincent, who'd also collected booty from his side quest. There was an impressively nasty-looking rifle strapped to his side and a look of serene resolve in his eyes.

"Lucrecia?" I asked.

"Gone." He didn't look either sad or happy, just resigned. Vincent and women did not seem to be a very good mix. No one pressed for details, and my need to recuperate sapped any real curiosity. The stateroom beckoned: anything that was almost a real bed was a luxury.

"Hey, lazy lady, you coming?" Already? Barrett looked exasperated and pulled at the pillow, dumping my head almost off the bed.

"Go 'way, lemme sleep for once." Bed felt heavenly, but the big guy was already yanking my arm.

"C'mon, Jo! Everybody out. That's an order." Captain Cid poked his head in the door and was pulling rank. His ship, after all. I slipped my bow onto my shoulder and strapped the quiver to my leg. Felt good to go properly armed, even if my prime objective was curing, not killing.

No sooner had we deplaned when we were attacked by a rogue vlakorados, a large dragonish creature, a wonderfully ugly thing somewhat out of his normal territory. It was surprisingly hard to defeat, almost impossible to draw down, and disheartening to have to pound and pound and pound at it. First Barrett, then Cloud fell back, leaving Tifa alone, wounded and exhausted. I ran to the front to check on her, while Cid and Vincent took their places. Cait and Reddie came up, ready to help, if needed. It was a rare adversary that required the entire fellowship to stay at hand, and before long, even Yuffie was involved in its demise. Everyone except me. My arrows were not for dragons.

I was standing quite close when the vlakorados flattened Vincent. So it also hit me; I could feel a definite rush as I reached my limit. This time I wanted to try to actively direct the Belt to the dragon itself, to steer it away from my comrade. Not just a wave, but rather a concentrated beam. Our quarry fell back, stunned, unable to react. And the beam returned to me, leaving me jazzed up with the energy. This was new: an unexpected plus that seemed to deliver more than I needed. I reached to transfer the excess, before it should be lost to injury. Yuffie and Reddie were wide-eyed and panicky, alternately looking at me and then above my head. I twisted upward and fell back on my butt. Someone else was experiencing new limit levels.

There was an enormous, black- and red-winged ogre hovering over me. It floated silently, with arms crossed, glaring at the enemy. Then the dragon lifted up high, enveloped by a dark swirl of energy and debris, dropped and died quietly. It took a minute for my heart to return to normal, but it gave me time to contemplate just what had occurred. Pleased, I beamed a big grin at the demon, recognizing my ally.

"What happened to you? Why are you smiling?" Reddie yelled hoarsely, still incredulous. To me? Nothing happened to me.

"Vincent. He killed the dragon humanely. For me, I think." I felt sort of giggly, improbably so, and looked back at the demon. It stared straight ahead, sinking slowly. "See, it's Vincent. Proud and grumpy."

Yuffie and Reddie walked over to our morphing ogre-ally, as he dropped to the ground. Vincent returned to his human form and stood up straight, looking at us quizzically.

"Wha'cha gonna call it, Vinnie?" Yuffie was bouncing up and down. I winced; that was the wrong approach. Vincent would be appalled, as usual. His answer was sure to be angry and upset.

"Chaos." He wasn't upset, just sort of thoughtful. Our girl looked surprised, stopped bopping, and waited for an explanation. We all did.

"That perfectly describes how I felt as the limit hit, changing almost uncontrollably. Striking how I become less human with each break level."

I thought, "Here we go again, with the litany of how he's evil inside." I thought wrong. This time he was sure of himself.

"You understand, don't you? Even as Chaos, I could never hurt you."

"Of course not. It's you, Vincent. We are allies." Reddie was the voice of reason, all culture and civility. He knew very well how it felt to be different. He was comfortable in his fur, accepting everyone's individuality. I loved him all the more, and hugged his ruff.

"You're right. You're a pretty smart manticore--however you pronounce it." I growled the words at the back of my throat, teasing him.

"Fini, you can't because your vocalizing organs are not right." He growled and purred some syllables, partly in his throat, partly at the back of his muzzle. "You can call me that if you like, Fini, although I don't think I look like one. And I wouldn't want to." So there. The challenge.

Young people need reassurance. "You're better than the myth; manticores are hideously inelegant. Just a story dreamed up by someone trying to make sense of a talking nonhuman." I looked sideways at him, baiting him. "And you don't eat people, do you?"

"Not anymore. Not right now anyway." Good, he's learning a little humor. Or maybe we just don't appreciate his brand. I'd wished there were more of his kind to study and maybe assimilate back into the rest of us. We could learn a lot from those long-lived folks. For instance, we could start with what they'd like us to call them. Our Nanaki never got around to telling us much of anything.

"That's the spirit. Be your own myth." I rumpled his mane and sat back.

"Mythical warrior-ladies and gentle-manticore, shall we move on?" I looked up. Was Vincent having the last word? He was all tranquility since his visit to Lucrecia's falls. Not quite smiling, but much less moody, for the moment, anyway.

When I tried to stand, I grabbed at Reddie to keep from falling. And missed. The extra energy must have taken some of my own during the transfer to Tifa and the guys. Or maybe there really wasn't any extra for me. My legs failed completely, so standing was a no-go, and I sat there, surprised and too embarassed to even speak. Very large, soft plush paws picked me up, and returned me to the ship.

"Fini, did you notice what happened to you?" Another one? Must've missed something.

"No, Cait. You tell me." Mental inventory of all my parts. Nope. Nothing hurting.

"You glowed like mako, bright from inside. It was beautiful." Not good news to me; my eyes stung, and it must have showed. "I'm sorry Fini. Does that upset you?" Nothing came to mind as a good explanation, so I shrugged and swallowed hard. Let's not be a crybaby, just yet. Got thirty years to figure it out, by my reckoning.

"Maybe I'm just exhausted." The cat nodded and the mechanical moogle immediately turned and deplaned. I pulled my way along to the stateroom and fell asleep as soon as I touched the cot.

It was a very "deep" sleep. Perhaps the jazzed feeling overstated the amount I drained from the vlakorados, or maybe the drain was not able to pass through Chastity Belt. Something to keep in mind during battle: immortality was not part of the bargain. It couldn't be a separate limit break, this Lamia effect. There certainly wasn't enough time to allow for another limit level. Perhaps it was always part of the Belt, but I had never used it. My reluctance to actually kill had never yet been tested, because the first two times it hit non-lethal people. Oh, I know that Rufus could easily have eliminated me, but he was busy with other ideas at the time. Also, I was anxious to survive the interview. Long before I had any Jenova benefit, I would never allow a man to hurt me. Never. Not even playfully. Not allowed, no way. Guess that's just the way I am, to quote the Captain.

So. Directing the Belt may have concentrated its force enough to damage the enemy, and cause the limit to show its true colors. On the one hand, my Jenova gift consisted of healing when I am not hurt, and on the other, it changes to lethal vampyrism when I've been sufficiently injured. Coupled with the possibility that the drain might not benefit me directly, but instead must be steered to an ally, this new limit break would require some cautious testing and proving. How cautious could I be during a limit break? And what good could possibly come from the glowing "lightbulb" effect? The pathetic image of hopeless, incandescent Lucrecia would not leave my mind. Was that why she hid from the world? Perhaps she learned she was a danger to others.

I found myself staring towards the Eastern Continent, out over frigid seas and bright white floes. Cloud and the others were back from the Ancients' City, on board before I noticed. Our leader announced that we could progress to the Northern Crater, with Aerith's blessings. Intriguing as that was, further explanation would have to wait. Something was breaking the icy water's surface.

Alarms blared over the public address, and the alert was called just as we caught sight of what was churning the water. Yet one more Weapon! Big, bulky looking critter that moved very purposefully southward. The planet was just plain fed up with us all and ready to correct the situation.

Sapphire, Emerald, Ultimate, and now what? Pearl, maybe, from the looks of it. We accidently whacked it with the Highwind, and Cid went beserk, screaming that we should fight it on the ground. Heaven forbid we should dent his precious airship, never mind that all of us were crashing into each other and the walls. His crew ran a check: the monster assayed as diamond. But Weapon took no notice of us at all, moving relentlessly towards Midgar.

Midgar was already aware of the Diamond Weapon homing in on them. Cait was spinning like a top: the top Shinra, Inc. officials were in a meeting. Scarlett's Cannon (now the Sister Ray) drew ammunition from the city's mako reactors. So, I thought, why should we interfere? But Cait was adamant that the reactors couldn't deliver quickly enough. We landed and waited for Weapon. This battle was tough, and for once, it didn't look winnable. We finally knocked it senseless for a brief interval, and used the opportunity to return to the Highwind. We had bought the desired time, and the mako cannon shot the beast just as it opened fire on the city.

Which to watch? The fires unleashed on Midgar tore through the main Shinra tower, wrecking the top floors, and raining burning materials all over the surrounding neighborhoods.

"That will probably be the end of Rufus." Barrett said, sounding both grim and satisfied. While I had to agree with the sentiment, he didn't seem to care about Midgar. Cait tore into him, accusing him of worrying only about his little girl and leaving the rest to die. He also slammed him for the attacks on the reactors that had resulted in the death of many innocent people and the destruction of their neighborhoods.

That settled the question of who manipulated Cait Sith. The only one who would worry about the city and its people would be Reeve, Midgar's architect and top municipal official. Though not technically the mayor, he would want to protect his prized city, of course. It even surprised me that he cared about its human inhabitants.

So, yes: I danced with Reeve at the formal, but also with Scarlett, for that matter. A lot of nothing, there. We all had to play Shinra's game, keep up a festive front, and that was all. At least they didn't smell of bacon fat, like the others, including President Shinra. Bunch of disgustingly obese men, apparently in competition to see who could outeat the others. Crappy dancers, too.

From the Highwind, we'd watched Weapon take a direct hit and go down heavily. They surprised me with how easily they eliminated Weapon. The beam went through and beyond. Who'd calibrated that load? I could not imagine Scarlett ever ordering more than enough, but it was, after all, her toy. Like herself, the Sister Ray was all attention-getting noise and sexy violence. A little too much testosterone in that gal.

Cait was allowing us to directly monitor the scene at headquarters. Contact with the president was gone, and the managers were having their own little power struggle. Energy was again being drained from the city's reactors, readying the cannon for another shot. Shinra had gotten lucky and killed Weapon with the first load aimed at the Crater's dome. With the monster and the dome gone, more power was needed to destroy Sephiroth.

Reeve sounded like the only panicky soul among them. The massive kick from a huge load could kill hundreds of people, maybe more. He called the Sister Ray site. Hojo was running the show, gloating as he prepped the cannon for maximum load, ready to sacrifice a dozen Midgars to his designs. The attacks would not hurt Sephiroth, who would instead absorb the energy, becoming inestimably powerful. The other managers had their own agenda, none of which included saving the city. Reeve lost control and resorted to bluster, commanding everyone, even Hojo, to desist in order to protect the citizens.

That was his undoing. With Rufus Shinra presumed dead, interdepartmental jealousy held full sway, as each manager grabbed at the last vestiges of power. Reeve was arrested and placed under guard, to prevent any further interference with their plan. Stopping Hojo was not part of the plan.

That left the fate of the people of Midgar in our hands. Great. We hadn't a clue how we would enter the city, let alone find our way to the Sister Ray.

Battling My Boss

With Scarlett, Heidegger and their forces occupying Midgar, we were stumped for a way to enter the city. Our hand had been tipped by Reeve when he was raging against them, just before they arrested him. So many strikes against us at the outset made things look hopeless.

Cid practically chortled that while they now owned Midgar, we owned the sky in the Highwind! We could easily drop into the city unopposed. There were parachutes aplenty and everyone prepped for the jump. Except me. No way, no how. I looked to Yuffie for support, but she was already outfitted and coming at me.

"No thanks, kid. I'm giving this one a miss." Surely everyone understood I could never parachute from the airship! I turned and walked toward the staterooms. There I was met by Vincent, who was carrying my bow and quiver. He stopped short and chucked them at me!

"What the hell? Be careful with those!" I snatched at them as best I could, and slammed into Yuffie, who also sprang up to catch them. The collision left us in each others arms, and she pulled backwards, holding my waist to keep from falling. Then she grabbed the bow and quiver from me.

"Oh, I get it, you little traitor." But the thought came too late. Vincent and Cid had already slipped the parachute onto my arms, and were fastening the straps around my legs. Yuffie helped them complete the preparations, securing my weapons to my sides. Cid spoke urgently into my ear while they rushed me out the door and onto the deck,

"Ok, Sweetie. Watch us and pull the cord when we do." The cord! Where's the cord that releases the chute? Cid took my hand and placed it onto a reassuringly large ring. "Just watch for us, and give it a hell of a yank. Got it?"

"No! I can't do this!" Death was staring me in the face! Then Cid took my head into his hands, his face so close, I could smell his last cigarette. "Hang onto the ring. Pull when we do. Off ya go!"

And I was free-falling in a rainy sky. All of Midgar was below, rapidly coming up at me. I looked around and felt again for the ring. After four very long seconds the others opened their chutes, so I followed suit, using both hands to pull the cord. I felt first the drag and then I was wrenched upward. The rest of the trip was spent taking inventory of my weaponry, while watching for my allies and making certain my drawers were clean and dry. I was never much good with multitasking.

After landing with a thump on my knees, I was covered by the collapsing chute. Just like in the cartoons. But the silk was very lightweight and I simply crunched it together into a compact mass and stuffed it into an alley. My buddies were doing the same, hiding our trail from whatever troops might pass through the area. The silly moogle-cat bounced up to me. It was difficult to imagine Reeve behind the toy's workings.

"Survive, did you?" I grimaced at him and decided not to answer. There was sort of a letdown, and I wondered if jumping were easier when done willingly. Quite the rush, thank you very much. Cait herded me towards the others and we stood in the rain, waiting for his instructions.

The moogle pulled up a manhole cover and indicated our entry into the underground. We would follow the railroad tracks to the Shinra headquarters. Cloud asked a few more questions, and indicated that he understood exactly where we needed to go. We were on our way, slipping down into the opening.

Geez, does Midgar go all the way to the center of the planet? The underground caverns were vast and exquisitely crafted to include the machinery and infrastructure of the various city sectors. We encountered all sorts of resistance, but there was none from the standing army. Just monsters and mechs at every turn, every one of them easily incapacitating us with their poisons or sheer strength. Healing was literally second nature to me now and the battles were long but not especially difficult. Amazing all the stuff we found down in the tunnels, too. Barrett and Yuffie were constantly collecting useful items and even materia.

"Guys, make up your minds. Treasure hunting, or rescuing all of Midgar?" I mean, let's be real. It may be they were certain we would win, or whatever, but I had my doubts. Save it for later. Even after we emerged from the underground, items and weapons were strewn all around the cannon's site. Wastefulness typical of Shinra employees: always the mindless, syrupy optimism and the bottomless fountain of money. The well was about to run dry, and there would be fireworks to match its demise. I pitied the lazy citizens who would need to fend for themselves with the Company gone.

And speaking of Shinra, down under the city we had an encounter of the Turks' kind. Our last. Spunky Elena was ready to mix it up again, but the guys on both sides were jaded and resigned to the end of the Company. Our fearless leader simply declined to fight and said it was over. I wondered briefly how they would make out in the new economy. For that matter, how would I? But we had to survive first, so we climbed a duct and returned to the streets, just under a huge scaffolding.

The area was guarded by a gleaming, towering mech. With a voice--no, two voices: Scarlett and Heidegger gloating that their "Proud Clod" would quickly make mincemeat out of us. And they were almost right.

But "almost" only counts in horseshoes and nuclear blasts. For the record, though, the toughest battle to date was with Proud Clod. We would beat on it for what seemed a half-eternity, and bring it to its knees. And that was the signal to duck a huge salvo from its beam cannon, just when we thought we were done! The giant had more lives than an alley cat. We once again found all our people called in shifts to finish the job--unpaid overtime. In the end, both Scarlett and Heidegger were left whimpering with surprise that they'd lost. The lesson I've taken away from my adventures with the Shinra managers: always have a plan B and a plan C and keep an eye out for D. And watch for booty: Cloud collected up a wicked-looking sword that rivalled the Masamune itself. No doubt we would need it.

The scaffolding was suprisingly solid, especially considering the kick that must have resulted when they took out both Weapon and the Dome over the Northern Crater. Barrett hurried ahead, digging here and there for anything left by the construction crew. We found him a few minutes later, seated on a landing, cooing and petting a massive cannon he'd fitted to his prosthesis. Made me wonder if he would ever simply attach a regular artificial arm anytime in the future. Should we survive, of course. The higher we climbed, the louder the machinery screamed around us: Armageddon in its preparation stages. And if we couldn't stop Hojo, that would be a fair description of what was to come.

Such a small man in comparison with the weaponry he commanded! Hojo looked like a midget in a white labcoat, his hands darting over the controls of the Sister Ray. He gladly answered our questions, oblivious that we were waiting to kill him. He was going to send an enormous load to the Northern Crater, to aid Sephiroth in his quest to take over the planet. He acknowledge that it galled him to be outdone by his own handiwork; still, he was willing to not only concede defeat, but join forces with him.

Sephiroth was his creation, after all. Even a waning god loves his creatures, and Hojo pointed to Vincent, Reddie and me, crowing over his achievements. I spat at him and told him his "achievement" was stolen each and every time. He was just a fraud, and it was time for payback. At that, Cloud came forward and the two argued over his part in the melodrama. Vincent interrupted to call him out on his treatment of the unborn child and creating the monster that was Sephiroth. Hojo fairly purred his answer: he could do whatever he liked with his unborn child.

It never occurred to me that Sephiroth was Hojo's spawn! All along I had figured that Vincent was avenging the wrong done his own unborn baby. Besides, Hojo was rather slight, no athlete at all; Lucrecia must have passed on the lion's share of prowess and abilities to her son. No question where the madness gene originated, though. I thought of my own boys and their future mental health. Well, there may simply be no future, mentally healthy or otherwise. But then Vincent barked out a final condemnation of Hojo and the battle for the Sister Ray began.

Standing shoulder to shoulder with the others, I felt empowered by my own despair. We would destroy this madman before he harmed anyone else. One more surprise: Hojo had also experimented on himself, and he was glorying in his own monstrosity. It was mesmerizing to watch the various forms he could take, as he moved fluidly from one to another. He'd be a caller, summoning various denizens from the depth of the ocean or perhaps hell itself, multiplying his own front line. Then he became the alien unknowable, no longer of the planet, even. Everyone remained on edge, trying to keep up with the changing face of our enemy, doubtful that we could beat each and every incarnation of Jenova-enhanced Hojo. We perservered, though, and at last he began to falter. We moved in for the kill. Only Cloud resorted to his limit break; the others stayed close to assist. It was as if Hojo were merely playing, showing off his skills and costumes in an elaborate display of superiority.

One final blow from Cloud was followed by the coup de grace at Vincent's hand. Hojo was down and returning to his human form. He raised his face to me and barely whispered my childhood name. Josey, he beckoned me. I drew closer, amazed he would even have occasion to know it. What would he tell me, now that he was dying? I wanted to hear about my sons, about my time in their laboratory prison, why he chose to experiment on me, and what part I played in my own contamination. He could barely stretch out his hand. I thought: me and my dumb musing.

And I heard Vincent's hoarse warning, more an animal roar than actual words.

That last sentence is practically a wishful lie. While I recall the sound, I couldn't make out a warning. Or anything else, for quite a while. Hojo drained me completely when he touched me. The bastard used me one last time.

The battle became an entry to Captain Cid Highwind's log. Really. Cid keeps a journal on the Highwind, as do all commanders. Who knew we had anything at all in common? But the following is not his actual entry, which is too dry; I prefer to include all the details gleaned from all of our party. Still, I was tickled to find an actual written account. Tifa filled me in on my convalescence, but it was months before I learned what I did in the stateroom.

The fighters had watched helplessly as Hojo dropped me with one simple feint. The oldest trick on the planet and I fell for it. Any romance and humanity was always a Machiavellian ruse with him. He rose up, fully revived and fed on my life energy. With the primary healer gone, the rest of the party ramped up their attack.

Hojo had greatly underestimated the power of revenge. My boss had always underestimated, miscalculated and just plain goofed during my tenure in the laboratory. He called it the "the Scientific Method," of course. Trial and error, carefully studied to determine his next move or trial, what he called "Forming an Hypothesis." The battlefield was just another laboratory, only much more unforgiving. He knew that my part as curer was key during the fight, but he missed an important datum: everyone was capable of restorative magic.

My incapacitation was not lost on my comrades, who simply closed ranks and concentrated all their actions, using the strongest magic and pacing limit breaks. One right after another, strike after strike, overwhelming our prey. Overkill at its simplest: destroy every last vestige of him, wipe away every trace of his new Jenova abilities. Annihilate him. And I missed it.

And so, Avalanche stopped the Sister Ray, eliminating Professor Hojo in the process. It had been a very costly fight. No one had expected me to drop my guard and let him at me, and no one could revive me at the end of the battle. Drawing directly on my life-force and taking advantage of everyone's surprise, he was able to flatten our front line, wreaking much more damage than he would have otherwise. Thus several of our number sustained serious injuries and status disorders, and all were taken back to the Highwind. The staterooms were full for the first time since the Highwind was recovered from Rufus Shinra. The mood of the crew was sombre.

After much curing and healing, one by one, our people returned to the cockpit.

We were all soaked from combat in the rain. Vincent kept everyone but Tifa away from me. They removed the wet clothes and covered me with blankets, then he sat by my side to wait for the hoped-for improvement. Tifa watched him become as helpless as she was in Mideel. After a while, he motioned for her to leave; everyone needed healing and curing, and she was no exception. She sent Yuffie in her place. That was not for my benefit; Vincent himself was in need of healing and curing, but he would not leave the stateroom without having one last word with me.

Yuffie said he sat stoically waiting for me to revive. She was ready to get Cid to order him to rest up and recuperate, when I began to stir. I swear I don't remember what happened next. She says I reached up to him, ran my fingers into his hair, grabbed it and pulled his face towards mine. He leaned forward to hear me. I coyly asked the whereabouts of my clothes and thanked him for watching at my bedside.

And I kissed him, gently and deliberately, on the lips. He was frozen with astonishment and allowed me to linger for several seconds. Then he pulled back abruptly and left my side, leaving me to drop back on the pillow, asleep once more. Yuffie chased him back through the hallway. He stopped her and held her against the wall with his claw-arm.

"What's gotten into you?" She'd thought he'd become ill and needed to get away. But it was quite the opposite. He shushed with his right hand and moved closer to whisper.

"Do not tell the others what you saw. They will blame me for her condition, and rightly so. I blame myself." The kid asked why he would reject my advances. Vincent, exasperated, gave her a shake and hissed his explanation. "Josephine was healing me! At her own expense. I should have known and stayed away from her. Now, she must take more time to recover again on her own."

For once, the ninja had nothing to say, no smartass retort. She'd never guessed what was happening, even though she was less than a meter away. Caught off-guard, she agreed to keep the secret. Vincent made his report to Cid and Cloud short, to the point, and skirting the truth.

"For a very brief moment she woke and spoke to me. Now, she's sleeping normally." He didn't indicate what I'd said and didn't offer any further explanation. He took himself to a stateroom and allowed the others to cure and heal him.

When I finally awoke and dressed, I found the rest of our fellowship in the cockpit. Cloud was lecturing on our motives. It was important to deplane and find out exactly why we were fighting. Anyone who wasn't ready to go the final distance could leave, and he would understand. As for those who returned, it would be time to attack Sephiroth in the North Crater.

Suddenly, I knew what I had to do. Even though I dreaded the thought of visiting my former husband, I would visit him in Midgar. We had unfinished business.

Twins and Twins

"Would you do me the honor of accompanying me to Nibelheim?" As softly as he spoke, I still jumped a bit. Vincent could move stealthily for a guy wearing armor shoons. With the whole world ahead through the windshield, I wasn’t expecting anyone behind me.

I held up my wedding band. "No. Thanks for the offer, though. There’s some unfinished business waiting for me in Midgar." He shook his head.

"You shouldn’t visit your ex-husband. The last time upset you greatly." His beautiful brown eyes were clouded with concern, turning deep maroon. The color variations were beginning to fascinate me.

"This belongs to him; he paid for it. It’s not right to just trash it. He could toss it himself, but I won’t know. I’m sorry; that doesn’t make much sense to anyone but me. Besides, I want to see my children."

Vincent suddenly brightened. "Why don’t I return it for you? Then you could check with the rest of your family and not be troubled by a difficult encounter with him." His distaste for my ex-husband was manifest. Totally unfair! My husband was a good guy; he just knew he needed a wife. There are times I wouldn’t have minded one myself, to handle the home front and the kids. Of course, she’d have to be a good cook.

"It wouldn’t be fair for you to give up a visit with your own family." I wanted no guilt; it was no longer my specialty. "Besides, you’d scare the living daylights out of him in your armor." Vincent seemed pleased at the thought, but then he reassured me.

"Just a quick stop, dressed in my long coat. Then I’ll go straight to Nibelheim; I promise."

That was that. I gratefully handed him the ring, and he set it on his little finger. It fit perfectly, so I knew it would not be lost. I was declining another invitation to go with him just as Cid passed.

"What’re you doing, Vinny? Preparing a Nibelheim nuptial?" Vincent swung around and faced the Captain, who looked surprised. "Hey, hey! Just kidding." They were usually easy friends, as different as they were, and seemed to understand one another. The exchange intrigued me, but it would have to wait.

"Never heard of such a thing. Just handing over my band to be returned to my ex. He’s saving me the trip." Cid grinned wickedly.

"Good idea, Jo. Don’t need to fish you out of any more taverns." Guess I wasn’t going to live that one down anytime soon. Vincent relaxed, almost started to chuckle, then nodded to me and was gone. Cait was waiting, watching silently. Gave me the creeps, but it wasn’t Reeve’s fault that my life was a mess. Maybe we could repair some damage. I looked right through the cat, visualizing the man himself. We were never taken in by that big hulking toy, anyway.

"Reeve, I’m ready. I’ll take a chocobo to Midgar."

"No need; there’s a rental on the way. This trip is hard enough on you already." If that wasn’t trouble on the hoof, nothing was; I could guess he would be arriving in the taxi. Still, it was good not to need to plan. Call it anticipation or anxiety, whatever; I couldn’t think straight.

"Hey, what about the disguise? Maybe we don’t need it? Wouldn’t it scare the heck out of my babies? On second thought, though, I’ll be a scary stranger anyway." The notion made me sad.

"The girls helped. They’ve got something coming: nothing silly, just a wig and some glasses. You won’t need more than that. People assume you were killed when Weapon attacked Junon." It wasn’t long before a small helicopter hovered in next to the Highwind. I thought, "This guy’s got cash and then some. Pretty sure the local economy had crashed with the broken glass from the Shinra tower."

Barrett followed me onto the upper deck. He was elated; Reeve was taking him to see Marlene. The relief I felt at having a chaperone evaporated when he mentioned that his little girl was waiting in Kalm. We told him to pass our best wishes to Elmyra Gainesborough. She would be glad that he was visiting; she believed that parents of small children shouldn’t go questing and battling, they should stay home to save the world one child at a time. Anyway, the upshot was that Barrett was gone way too soon to be any help to me with the uncomfortable setup. I would’ve liked some support around all those Shinra people. But we were all about the immediate business. Reeve handed me a big black wig and told me to remove it before I saw the little ones. Big deal, I thought: probably don’t even need a disguise. Wrong again. When we landed on the roof near the badly damaged headquarters, I was glad to be incognito. The first public screen we encountered still ran the WANTED broadcasts, and there I was in all my sandy, short-bob glory. Bigger than life, lab glasses and all, right up there with the best of them, or maybe the worst.

"You remember the girls and me, don’t you, Fini?" Actually, Reeve still looked pretty good. The rest of us were worse for the wear. Battling and hiking, hiding and starving: they all took their toll. I hoped I didn’t look a fright; even the weight loss, appreciated at first, had to look bad by now. Seeing my friends after all that had happened would be a trip. They were around my age and had been like sisters. When and why did Hojo decide to suppress my memory? What happened to all the great experiments that had once really excited me? Well, until they were directed at me, specifically, we’d been a happy team. Or maybe I was just suckered in for the ride.

"The twins? Sure. We were like family. I don’t remember when it all went to hell. Will they tell me, Reeve? I want to know. I want to remember." Geez, don’t start crying now. I was sick of always blubbering, but the anxiety was telling on me.

"You turned a little nasty in the end. No one was on the same page anymore, not that they blame you. Hojo didn’t share his plans before he enacted them. So, please don’t take it out on Paula and Andie. They only want to help." He was beseeching me to mind my manners, and I bristled. My memory had been wiped, and I was supposed to kiss and make up?

"How can they correct things as they are? My whole world was shot full of holes."

"For one thing, they can connect you to your babies." Aha, that’s the Reeve I was expecting: the scheming jerk. He always maintained the upper hand, that one. Holding my boys as hostage was more his usual modus operandi. I changed tactics.

"Hojo had a thing about twins, especially identical. Were your girls ever used as lab subjects?"

"They volunteered for extensive, ongoing research. But your family background was your downfall, Fini. They will tell you all about it, but you’ve got to behave." What the hell? Behave like what and for whom? We arrived at an apartment door, just as it opened. His girls were all smiles and happy chatter.

"Fini! We didn’t think you were coming." Truth is I was glad to see them. Friendly faces in a domestic setting were becoming quite rare for me. There were big hugs all around. They cuddled Reeve, too. His girls. Wives? Sisters? I was totally nonplussed by the intimacy. My mind was racing, trying to make sense of it. Must be wives. Helluva perk that worked both ways. They were obviously protected from the worst experimentation by Reeve’s position in Shinra. Well, let’s play along till we get what we want; that’s how I resolved it. It’s their private business. Right? Let’s get down to the matter at hand.

"Tell me about my boys." Ah. Well. They weren’t exactly my boys; Paula made that clear. She was the Ph.D.; must be some law in there somewhere. She was setting the ground rules: the boys already had mothers. In plural! Well, of course there was someone to care for them and raise them.

"Hey, let me guess! Twins." Yep. And I knew who: two lady-friends of the professor, naturally. I was beginning to see the boss’ logic. Twins, twins. He himself was one. What they call a "surviving" twin: an only child after the in utero death of his brother. He made no bones about it; that’s why he was fascinated. Also identical twins made great study subjects. With the same genes, background and sometimes even similar personalities, they provided their own control for experiments. On the other hand, survivors occasionally become obnoxious, precocious children, overindulged by their doting, still grieving, parents. Growing into know-it-all adults; Hojo was their ultimate poster child.

The fact that I personally wasn’t a twin meant little. They were in my family tree, both sides. "Nasty in the end" probably meant uncooperative when it came to producing subjects for study. Never mind that technically I was not able to have more children. A minor inconvenience, obviously. And, hey, who wouldn’t want to produce little SOLDIER babies for the Shinra genius?

In the world according to Hojo, cooperative women were rewarded and those who weren’t, well they could be co-opted against their will. Apparently I caught on a little too late: never said I was a quick study. All these girls were in it for Science and the glory. Just like Lucrecia. Yeah, I was beginning to remember. It was way too much for my stomach.

"Tell me about my boys." I was being a little firmer; we only had a short while. Reeve took my hand, and spoke up.

"Ladies, let’s move on to the babies. Josephine wants to meet her sons." Hurry up, girls. Reeve is as good-looking as they come, but his morals—or lack thereof—made me queasy.

The mommies were in the same building. Please don’t tell me they are part of this unholy harem, I prayed. But they clearly did not like Reeve, or "his girls." Was it professional jealousy or just some healthy wariness? Mayumi and Arisu, erstwhile physiologists and part-time martial arts instructors outside the lab, were now full-time mothers. Never struck me as very maternal, but Hojo rewarded his people according to favors owed. I shuddered. Well, why didn’t he just use them for the whole thing? Someday I’d ask, but for now, I would suck up like nobody’s business.

"Ladies, do you need anything? Are the babies lacking something you think they should have? How can I help you personally? What do you need for yourselves?" Could I say anything else to convince them I was prepared to lend a hand, to be a friend, an auntie? Dammit, I wanted my sons, any way I could get them!

"Don’t you want to see the boys?" Arisu would always go straight to the point. She and I got along well, while Mayumi was usually the superior, the teacher. And that was okay by me; I had my agenda too. None of us would win popularity contests, and at least we could be honest with each other.

"Absolutely! But I’m afraid that the excitement will make me forget to ask later." Well, yes, there were things they needed. The recent demise of Shinra left them high and dry, worried for the little ones. I gave them a pile of money and promised more. Who knows if I would make it back again? Too bad there wasn’t much time to visit, because the suspense was killing me.

"Bring out the babies! I’ve got to go soon." And the boys arrived, breaking my heart with their sweet innocence. Ronin and Ryuji were happy little fellows who had their father’s eyes, only constantly smiling, and wispy fuzz on their heads. Mayumi assured me they looked just like me, but I couldn’t see it. Beautiful, healthy, and obviously thriving, they set most of my worries to rest just by being normal. Still, I was nagged by doubt and a little hesitant to ask. It would depress me to hear that they were being made into instinctual killers. Maybe I would break my promise to behave, drain all the adults, and steal the kids away to safety. But there was none to offer in a world threatened by Meteor.

"Are you raising them as warriors?" After all, wasn’t that Hojo’s job, to create a race of super Sephiroths? Mayumi reacted as if I slapped her. Wrong question. I thought I blew it, and looked at the floor, but happy laughter tinkled through the air like windchimes. Then to my delight, the babies joined in.

"How could you forget that scene?" Arisu crossed her arms like Hojo and cracked her voice. "’No more Sephiroths! We must retain control of their emotional development!’ Don’t you remember? ‘Normal childhoods testing against the warrior genes and later training.’ We will provide the environmental changes when they are older. You can, too." No laughter from me, though, and I certainly wasn’t about to tell them anything. Had Reeve?

"We’ve got to stop Meteor first. I promise that’s our next step. We have blessings from the Lifestream, so we are sure to succeed." I wished I believed those words enough to make them happen. More hugs for the boys and their mothers, and we parted comrades, cohorts even.

That went rather well. I returned dry-eyed to the roof, wondering if I would ever see them again. Reeve joined me after a couple of minutes, and looked intently into my face. I shrugged.

In silence, we walked arm-in-arm to the heliport. He handed me into the cab, then held up a record file.

"The girls want you to take the time to view this alone. The experimental procedures are here in their entirety. Unedited." Yipes! Were they movies from the laboratory? An awful thought occurred to me.

"Uh, Reeve, have you seen these files?" He nodded grimly and inserted the cartridge into the onboard viewer, while the taxi hovered over the headquarters, aimed at Kalm.

"What happened to alone?"

"Maybe you’d better have someone with you." He shuffled the files and a surgical amphitheatre appeared with Hojo and Andrea facing the camera. They were talking heads for a minute or two, and Hojo gloated that he himself oversaw and participated in this case. Pure denial allowed me to listen carefully for a while. Then I recognized the unconscious, white-draped subject flat on her back behind them, bare feet in the stirrups. The boss outlined three procedures: in vitro fertilization, implantation, and restoration. I hoped that "restoration" meant I would be closed up properly. The Professor was not famous for returning his subjects to previous, pristine condition.

What a silly worry that was! There was not a single scar visible anywhere on my body. Including childhood injuries. I heal myself, continuously and unconsciously. In fact, the boss noted the previous "treatment" among the factors affecting the experiment. He stated that it resulted in "fecundity, regeneration, prophylaxis and amelioration." Fine. Fancy way to describe what I do, except the first part; I’d been fixed years ago. But the watching the entry made me feel violated, wearing just a sheet in such a vulnerable position.

It must have shown on my face. Reeve stopped the viewing and removed the cartridge. It was time to pick up Barrett and return to the Highwind. He gave me a sudden hug, but I blocked his kiss. Smiling benignly, he held up both hands, palms towards me.

"We’ll win you over yet. I promised the girls." Don’t. Ask. I didn’t.

No question of my motives for fighting Sephiroth: two sons and two daughters! An awful lot of kids were relying on us to stop Meteor. The obvious consequences of failure scared me, so I pushed it out of my mind. With both men in the cab, I had one last question.

"Hey, guys. What’s a Nibelheim nuptial?" Reeve frowned and shook his head, but Barrett just looked surprised.

"Why do you ask, girl? Anyone we know?"

"No. It was a joke between Vincent and Cid. What is it?"

"Very Ancient Asia Minor. It was a unilateral action on the part of the groom or his family, a long time ago; it spelled bad news for the bride." Reeve made it sound legalistic, and remote in place and time. He clearly disapproved, even as a joke. "Couldn’t happen these days. It was a vestige of paternalistic militarism. Women won’t stand for it now. Just ask Tifa." I doubted the kid would even know.

"Yeah. You know what a 'shotgun wedding' was?" Barrett was warming up to the explanation. "In the Ancient Americas a man could be forced into marriage, right? This was its exact opposite and was politely called "briding" in Corelle, too, even as recently as fifty years ago. Bet Cid was teasing Vincent for being from where it was the worst. Ha! The two of them! Neither is any good with women. Ol’ Cid is foul-mouthed and crude, and Mr. Valentine seems to just have bad luck with them." More like bad luck for them. Poor Lucrecia! Did Hojo simply co-opt her, knowing she probably wouldn’t resist in time? Maybe she wasn’t complicit in her own destruction, just slower and less clever than he.

Must have been a guy thing; it didn’t strike me as very funny. As my Mum used to say, "You learn something new every day." I decided it was a bit of Ancient World History that should stay that way.

The taxi touched down next to the Highwind, and we climbed aboard.

This was our own Reunion: our commitment to the final battle. Cait, Red XXIII and Cid met us at the door and led us to the stairwell; everyone was happy to see each other. And Vincent was waiting at the bottom of the stair.

He was not looking thrilled to see us. He nodded to Barrett, but fairly glared at me, his eyes ruby red. I froze when he reached out his claw arm, blocking my passage and almost pinning me to the wall.

"Is that you, Josephine? Where have you been?" The question caught me off-guard, and I hesitated. It was impossible that he would care if I visited my sons. Then I remembered that no one knew except Reeve. Oh, hell. I stiffened and glared back.

"Who wants to know? Vincent, what is this all about?" The razors of his claw were tucked carefully into its palm, so I pushed it emphatically away from my middle. No one is allowed to bully me. Cid stood behind Vincent, but did not interfere, watching passively. I figured there was no real danger, but I still scowled, just for effect.

Vincent stepped back, but didn’t withdraw his arm. "When I located your daughters, I realized you couldn’t have visited them." My jaw dropped, and I grabbed both his arms, to keep from bouncing up and down with excitement. Like a little kid, I squeaked at him.

"You found my daughters!!! Are they all grown up? How do they look? Where are they? Did you talk to them? Can I visit them?" But he was implacable, still furious. He casually reached up and slipped the black wig off my head. I’d forgotten that, too. He tossed it aside, and spoke slowly and deliberately.

"No, you cannot. Your daughters are guarded by family members, quite ostensibly so, in fact. No one is allowed near them." He’d searched for my twins!

"Vincent, you’re amazing! My little girls! When did you find time to look? You said you were going to Nibelheim." That last was a teasing accusation, even though I could not imagine that Vincent was even capable of a lie. He relaxed and drew back.

"Josephine. The situation at your family home worried me. I left the ring in what appeared to be a mail drop. You did say they wouldn’t want to deal with me, but my mere presence intimidated your ex-husband! We spoke through a chained doorway. He sent me to your parents to get rid of me, and your daughters happened to be there." I guessed what came next.

"Dad met you with a loaded rifle. That was intended for me, you know." His lovely eyes softened to chocolate brown again. "You thought he killed me? No, he wouldn’t, but I couldn’t face them again. Not so soon, and maybe never."

"There are baby twin boys in Midgar. I was used by Hojo for breeding, and they are my sons. That’s why he called me his Latest Lucrecia. Reeve took me to meet them. Guess the cat’s out of the bag now, eh?" I gave him a huge hug, as much as possible with all that armor. "You’ve done some of the toughest legwork for me. I can’t thank you enough!" Then I pulled away and floated into the cockpit. Behind me, Vincent sounded angry again, growling to a non-responsive Cait Sith, just before I moved out of earshot. Cid followed me to the cockpit, where he busied himself with the new pilot.

Right after that confrontation, we all met with Cloud. While waiting, Vincent and I were cautiously and politely discussing our misunderstanding. Some fancy sparkle caught my eye when he gestured with his hand. My wedding band was gone. I never doubted he would keep his promise, but this was something new. Instead there were two matching rings, on the fourth and fifth fingers. Very costly items.

The Damascene-style pattern on the rings was so appropriate to Vincent. The deep black background pointed up the diamonds and intricate gold and silver pattern. Rather like Vincent himself, I thought: overall moody darkness that showcased his various noble traits.

"You like them?" How embarrassing to be caught ogling his jewelry! I felt my face redden and nodded vigorously.

"You bet. They are exquisite! Everyone talks about the fancy swords of Damascus, but I’ve never seen jewelry in the same style. Ancient World treasure?" He smiled briefly, carefully choosing his answer.

"At the Nibel militia headquarters, the weapons-maker is very talented, an artistic genius. Be my guest, Josephine. You are welcome to the smaller one, if you like it." Vincent was looking directly into my eyes as he offered his hand to me. I backed away, horrified that I’d elicited that response.

"Goodness, no! Of course not! Would you offer me your clothes if I complimented them?" I smiled nervously, wanting to turn it into a joke.

"Certainly." He was dead serious. I tried again.

"Vincent. Jewelry of that caliber is a very intimate gift. I couldn’t. Not that I wouldn’t absolutely adore such elegance. They suit you in every way. You should save them for your lady. We might just all survive, you know." He nodded pleasantly, even smiling, and I got the feeling he’d already met the lucky woman. Mighty fast work, Valentine. I should talk to him about his grumpiness, I thought; she’s not going to like that sort of thing.

We were interrupted by Cloud. "Has anybody seen Yuffie?" She hadn’t shown up on board. One would think she’d return for the materia. We gathered together around the helm and watched Cid and his crewman going over some new controls.

"Cid, I guess Yuffie’s not coming." Cloud sounded resigned and a little sad. I answered, "Well, she’s got a PHS, should she change her mind. Why don’t we just call her?"

"I don’t want to pressure her. We all need to be volunteers that know what we are facing." He was firm about that, so I turned to go.

And Yuffie dropped down into our midst, all flourish and fake menace. It was good to have her back with us.

Lifestream and Nightmares

By the time the Highwind hovered into the North Crater, we thought we were ready for anything. We were wrong. There we found just about everything, and just about everything was deadly.

Not that there weren’t moments of beauty. Grottoes flooded with serene lakes calmed our hearts and bright, underground rivers of Lifestream lit our way. But there were also small, deadly mole-like people that could kill with a single thrust and cute little deer that partnered up with evil sorcerer imps. It was populated with everything one could imagine for enemies and a few well beyond most imaginations.

Our initial descent was fraught with danger from breakaway rock formations. Cloud literally took them in stride, easily leaping from ledge to ledge, paying little attention if the foothold evaporated under his body. And Vincent paid no heed whatsoever to the spiraling stepping stones, choosing instead to float down to anything that caught his attention. The wall of the crater sloped gently from the outside and gradually steepened as we climbed down to the center. I preferred to move slowly, creeping over the stones and limestone formations. The air was colder than a witch’s frontal bits. It felt like our death waited at the bottom, but it didn’t matter to us. Death waited in the over world, too.

Our greatest challenge came from the nasty white robot-like creatures we simply called scissors, as well as other monsters that could drop a fighter in one easy movement. We were fortunate that we had a Safety Bit to prevent sudden death, but with only one, we needed to watch each other carefully. Every new enemy initiated a race against oblivion, but our materia was fully charged and birthing, replicating after nearly every battle. And we were learning how to cope better with each encounter.

At all times, the Nemesis patiently waited at the center of our world. It was difficult for me to imagine that the lovely iridescent Lifestream was fouled by his presence. He always seemed so alive when we encountered him in the overworld. But the nature of this summons was deceit, and with one wing in Heaven and one foot in Hell, Sephiroth would stop at nothing short of our total annihilation to regain the planet. Our leader’s wild ranting against him was actually a comfort; if anyone could destroy Sephiroth by sheer force of willful hatred, it would be Cloud.

What of the Lifestream? There was no doubt in my mind we could find Aerith there. According to Cloud, she was already aiding us. Or maybe we were aiding her. This was never quite clear to me. When I asked the others what it all meant, they didn’t seem to know either. Just that we would be working with Aerith, or the Lifestream, or the Planet. Apparently the Planet saw Sephiroth as a bigger threat than living humans, or even Shinra.

Red XIII, or Nanaki, as we increasingly called him, told me that his Grandfather Bugenhagen, back in Cosmo Canyon, wasn’t sure we could win. In fact, he had stated that he didn’t think anything could save the planet anymore. Planets live and planets die, same as all creation. Bugenhagen had since moved on, and was no longer available to answer our questions. Nanaki insisted that it was our job to simply try, and he was content with his portion.

But what of the Lifestream? Shouldn’t we be actively contacting the Lifestream? Both Cloud and Tifa came back so full of purpose, so positive about their part. What was my part? Slowly, I became convinced that we should attempt communication, at least with Aerith. There wasn’t much time left to us, and we sure could use the help. I watched each brilliant rivulet we passed on our way to the center. All that power, all that life. We needed it.

There were many places where the Lifestream actively flowed close enough to almost touch it. It splashed onto our paths many times, but nothing ever came of it. It seemed a water-like substance devoid of any obvious spirit or intelligence. Nevertheless, there had to be a way to immerse ourselves in the stuff, become one with it. When I talked to the others, they looked at me like I was crazy.

“Where’d you get a notion like that? The Lifestream can’t fight because Sephiroth is blocking it.” For Barrett, that was that. The rest of the group seemed to agree with him. Our part was to kill Sephiroth, nothing more.

What if there were more the Lifestream could actively do? What if there were something waiting for each of us, the same as Cloud and Tifa? According to Tifa, it was very painful at first; she thought she would lose her mind in the aggregate mind-swirl of the current. Then she became focused on Cloud, who was oblivious, still comatose. With the Lifestream they were able to piece together the puzzle that was his muddled psyche.

Battle after battle, we moved inexorably toward the center. It was necessary to shelve my plans to immerse in the Lifestream, so I could concentrate on healing the others. We constantly hovered on the edge of insanity, or at least I did. Nothing could have prepared me for all the bizarre creatures we encountered. If I took all the monsters we found along the route to the North Crater, and ramped them up ten times, then we could be ready for the horrors at the bottom of the pit. Despair began to feel rather familiar to me, and death was starting to sound pretty good again. The echoing cries of so many creatures in the caves were nightmarish; there were so many lives being destroyed. The worst times were when we encountered the dark dragons. Amazingly beautiful, majestic in flight and incredibly difficult to kill, each dying dragon took with it a piece of my own soul.

One peaceful interlude was a swim in the underground lake. The waters were still and cold, sheltered by the cavern roof from the frigid air of the North Continent. Everyone else dug around for items and materia, but I wanted something infinitely more precious to me. Cleanliness fell by the wayside when we left the Highwind. I wanted a bath more than I wanted to survive.

When the rest of the group moved out of sight, I seized the moment and stripped off my things. There was no one else around, and the water was pure and clear. No soap, of course, but I could scrub at my limbs and comb my hair with my fingers. I never once touched bottom, but there was plenty of pondweed to hold me in place and nothing nasty at all in the water. Bathing complete, I pulled up out easily and yanked on my clothes. Forgot all about needing a towel, so it wasn’t long before the dampness left me shivering. I could see my fingertips turning blue: numbing cold was setting in. It would be necessary to run around to warm myself, but I was afraid of meeting enemies alone. There was no one else to help.

Well, that was what I wanted, right? It had been a lovely bath, and I would normally be feeling refreshed and relaxed. Instead I was agitated, needing to move around and keep myself from becoming hypothermic. Then I had a thought, and wandered back to the entrance of the lake’s grotto. There the cave connected to all three paths we needed to search before we actually moved down to the center.

The Lifestream glowed, a wavering blue light down behind a small ledge that was rather like a gallery above a theatre’s stage. We’d made camp there, in the lovely azure radiance. I eagerly sought my comrades. My body was freezing, but the increasing loneliness was even worse. In short, I needed a hug, or maybe just some company. But the others were ahead on recon, looking for items and materia.

Once again, I was left to solve the problem myself. And once again, I simply plunged ahead. Literally. The ledge wasn’t very high and I climbed over it, and dropped into the brightly lit depths of the cavern. It never occurred to me that I could die.

I didn’t die. That was a given. The Lifestream, or Aerith, would not let me die. Neither did it want to reward my brash assumptions. Now was not the time and my way was not the Lifestream’s way. My body fell into the Stream, and was enveloped, grabbed and tossed back!

There was no pain on hitting the Lifestream, but the sides of the North Crater were not so gentle. My tensed body hit the ledge full-force, face first. Stunned for a moment, I slowly pulled myself to my feet and tried again. Surely I did something wrong. Maybe I hit the waters just as they surged? The first try is almost never right. I climbed over the ledge and jumped again.

The Lifestream surrounded me. I could feel the waters touching on all sides and thrusting me upward again! And again I struck the floor of the ledge next to our camp. Now my lower back hurt, from landing on my butt. This time, I wisely pulled my battered body into the tent to rest.

“What in the deepest depths of hell were you trying to accomplish??” The roar of Vincent’s scream pierced my head the moment I hit the bedroll. I rolled away, lacking a quick comeback to make him go away.

I needed sleep and some time to rethink my approach. There had to be a way to make the Lifestream accept me. Again he interrupted my concentration.

“Josephine! Have you completely lost your mind??” He was being very rough, shaking me and yelling right into my face. I was feeling very petty by now, and didn’t care what the big priss thought of me.

“Vincent. Did you see that? The Lifestream won’t accept me. What the Hell?” My disappointment was compounded by pain. And he was preventing me from recovering. Otherwise, I would try again as soon as I felt better. I needed to get rid of him. “Leave me alone. I know what I’m doing. I need more time to figure this out.” Maybe he wouldn’t accept that, but I thought that he might respect my need to experiment. The glow of the Lifestream seemed inviting; surely he would understand.

Wrong, and wrong again. Peal upon deep, throaty peal of full (annoyingly) masculine hilarity echoed through the small central hall of the crater. The resonating laughter stunned and shamed me. I looked around, but there was only Vincent, and he was literally helpless with mirth.

Hmph. Didn’t know he was capable of laughing, except for an occasional disdainful snort or chuckle. Galling to be the object of it all. I pulled away and faced the side of the tent.

“Go away. You are no help.” Furious that he would belittle my scheme, I refused to even look at him. I yanked the bedroll over my head. Sleep: I needed sleep. Actually I wanted alcohol, but there was none to be had in the North Crater. Every inch of me hurt, and no doubt I was a real sight. The laughter stopped.

“You idiot. What did you think you were doing?”

“Go away. Leave me alone.”

“Answer me, Josephine. What were you trying to do?” The good humor was gone, replaced by impatience. Fine. I never thought it was funny at all.

“The Lifestream could help us. I wanted to seek its help. It won’t help. Go away and let me heal.” The misery was setting in; the Lifestream wouldn’t help us, after all. It had been a bad idea. I wanted to punch Vincent, but it wasn’t his fault. It would simply have felt good to put him in his place for a change, but he had other ideas.

“You will not be permitted to move around alone again. We cannot afford to lose a healer before the final battles with Sephiroth. You must remain with me from now on.” He spoke into the PHS, announcing that we were at the base camp and would rest up before joining the others. Now I was furious.

“Who do you think you are? Screw that. No one appointed you my guardian.” I needed sleep, not a babysitter. Taking the bedroll, I moved to exit the camp. But Vincent simply shook his head and grabbed my arm with his claw.

I cursed him, spitting nails, but couldn’t very well take back my arm without slashing my own wrist or hand. He never took his eyes off mine, never flinched at the foul language. He answered evenly, quietly and firmly.

“You will sleep next to me now. I will wait until you are fully healed and properly recharged. Then we will both regroup with the others.”

“Impossible. I cannot sleep with you, Vincent, or anyone else. Alone. I always sleep alone. Leave me be.” The very thought was outrageous. Was he joking?

“You can no longer be left alone. One of these rashly self-destructive attempts will eventually succeed. Your life is no longer your own, Josephine, to do with as you want. Go to sleep and I will watch.” He seemed sad, almost grim, but it was clear I wouldn’t change his mind. He was stone-faced, his eyes never leaving mine. He looked scary, and I felt a little reluctant to further explain my predicament.

“Vincent, I cannot sleep with another person. There’s no point in trying; I’d never get any rest.”

“Nonsense. You were a married lady for almost twenty years.” He challenged, almost teasing, but still looked serious, even perplexed.

“My husband and I did not share a bed for most of those twenty years. He couldn’t stand to be touched when asleep. I am accustomed to being alone. Leave me be.” Vincent did not change expression; nor did he change his decision. Instead he wordlessly arranged himself at my side, and placed his arm under my head as a pillow.

“It would seem that sleep was not so impossible.” The lights must have gone right out as soon as I lay back. How embarrassing. What if I talked, burped, or worse, while I was out?

“Don’t you ever sleep?” He answered slowly, choosing his words.

“Not as much as you or the others. After thirty years in that box, perhaps my body doesn’t need it anymore. At any rate, I occasionally do sleep; once you were relaxed, I was able to doze a little. Let’s go, Josephine. Cloud and Captain Cid called for us while you were unconscious; they are waiting below the Eastern Pillar.”

The Battle for the Planet

From then on, unless Cloud ordered us into separate parties, Vincent stuck by my side. He misunderstood my motivation for jumping beyond the ledge. He saw only the cuts and bruises and wouldn't hear my explanation. But I'd felt the energy: the Lifestream was probably much more powerful than even that little trick indicated. I continued to look for ways to experiment. However, when I stopped to think, or even simply stared ahead, he was there to question me, insistently asking what was on my mind. He was getting on my nerves.

Everyone was returning from recon when we descended the Eastern Pillar, a conjoined stalactite-stalagmite formation. We gathered together at its base, in another area that looked like a drained seabed. There were broken shells and skeletons everywhere, all haunted by the undead and other exotica waiting to destroy us. Reviving our downed fighters became my primary responsibility; nearly every enemy had a one-shot kill ability. Our people were now using their ultimate weapons, none of which would take materia, increasing their strikes' hit power, but leaving them vulnerable to enemy magic. This doubled my work yet again.

We were in danger as never before. The dark presence of Sephiroth hung over our every move. He was Death itself, overseeing our progress, invisible and omnipresent. We never doubted that he waited and watched at the very core of the crater.

On top of that, the constant imperilment created an additional, unexpected difficulty that highlighted my Jenova "gift."

As soon as I sensed mortal danger or even its prospect, my blood began to glow. All my bodily liquids, even sweat and saliva, were affected. At the same time, my person became inaccessible. No one could touch me, not even my allies, although I could approach anyone I wanted. Whomever I touched came under the Chastity shield. This was similar to my first encounter with Jenova in the City of the Ancients, only the switch was constantly on.

The Glow was good for protecting me, but not so great for hiding from enemies. Same as carrying a huge sign marked "We're sneaking around over here!" It seemed we attracted every evil thing, and they were arriving like moths or mosquitos drawn to a lightbulb. It occurred to me that perhaps the Lifestream did not reject me of its own accord. It was entirely possible that my sense of danger flipped the switch the very first time I jumped the ledge. The second time I knew I might be hurt when tossed back to the encampment. The disturbing element was the relative lack of protection when I fell backwards onto the sides of the crater. Was it the orientation, or rejection, that left me vulnerable to injury?

I briefly considered explaining my theories to Vincent, and maybe even the others. We would need to test it fully, and learn when to expect the shield and when it would likely fail. It would be best to know exactly how to use it. The closer to the center we moved, however, the more unapproachable my guard looked. We spoke less, and frankly, I enjoyed the silence, grim as it was. My mind worked better alone, and in the center of the crater I needed all the brainpower I could muster. It became necessary to simply wait and observe during battles, and with constant encounters nearly every few steps, there would be plenty of observation time.

One good side effect of the Glow: when enemies came closer, I could easily shoot them with my bow. Although they approached cautiously, and ready for battle, I was clearly an unknown. Or perhaps they could not see the weapons for all the incandescence. It was just like cheating; I got a clean first shot every time.

The unfair advantage made me yearn for open-air combat astride my own steed, like my ancestors. Killing the dark dragons was a horrible waste of their majesty and potential usefulness. One could only hope that the awful karma we were accruing would not deprive the planet of our dragons. How ironic if I were developing the skills I needed to fulfill my genetic destiny as the daughter of dragoons and other warriors, while depleting our world of the very animals that should be our allies and chief mode of conveyance. It was a depressing thought whose weight grew heavier with each kill. In fact, my mood sank deeper the closer we got to Sephiroth. We were surely stamping our own death warrant with each step toward the center of the Crater.

All this time my relationship with my captor was mellowing. He was still keeping me against my will, but we were trying to make the best of it. After a while the silly situation seemed normal. We were becoming tired of each other, saying nothing for long spells and only when necessary. We still accorded one another the usual courtesies owed to comrades-in-arms.

Once or twice, I indicated that I would need to return to the Highwind to rest and recharge, and Vincent finally accompanied me to the ship, with the PHS ready, should the main party need backup. Afterwards, he floated us both down the steepest cliffs, and we returned to the encampment. Then I taunted him with my recollections of our first meeting in Nibelheim, and how I used to think he was a cutie. Oh yes, I could be a pain sometimes, especially when thwarted. He never changed his expression, but I imagined he also was marking the time until when we could safely part.

We spoke a little about what we expected to do if we prevented Meteorfall. This was somewhat of a letdown: Vincent would return to his family in Nibelheim, what was left of it, and I would seek my children in Midgar. I told him he should find a young girl from Nibel and build a family, but he dismissed it out of hand. His world was shaped by thirty years in a coffin, and mine by children that were no longer my own. We would have to work with the cards we were dealt, if we survived at all.

Right before the last battles, Vincent actually proposed marriage to me, saying we now had much in common, and would understand each other well. I pointed out the infeasibility of such a union: he was an anachronism, out of touch with modern relationships, and I was no longer capable of bearing children. I ruefully admitted the hardened attitude I now harbored toward men and marriage. He smiled and agreed that I was a handful. He would certainly take a wife when he returned to Nibelheim, but she would need to be mature, and not a girl. I answered that it sounded right to me, and we left it at that. Later, I didn't dare ask about the mother of his son, and I wished I'd thought about her during our discussion.

Actually, there was little time for conversation. The core of the crater shone brighter and brighter as we neared the final battle. There was no sign of Sephiroth except for that unrelenting brilliance. It would be necessary to press directly into the center, and draw the evil thing out of his lair.

It became a descent into Hell, with the waiting gates duly defended. Iron giants loomed above us, living colossuses every bit as dangerous as they were huge. And they were followed by dragon zombies. Their status just plain confused me. After killing and killing again, we were faced with the undead that wished to not only consume us, but also somehow add our misery to their own. It was during these successive battles that I began to wish I'd remained in the overworld, to watch and wait for a quick but certain death. Even that would be preferable to the bizarre chaos that swirled around us.

And just as quickly, it all ended, leaving us literally hanging at the core. Sephiroth once again appeared, to amuse himself and taunt us. He hoped to impress us with his power, but his games merely delayed the inevitable Armageddon. It was irksome that the enemy needed to aggrandize his own powers, and the very need would seem to suggest that things were not as he portrayed. We began to take heart, the man could not be omnipotent: his braggadocio gave away weaknesses we could exploit. We waited for the opening that would permit our incursion, the chink wherein we could dig a toehold.

He sent his "Mother" instead. But Jenova was a known entity, and we were ready for her. Immense and grotesque, she was still just an alien, not nearly the disheartening terror we felt when fighting our fellow-creatures who were tainted by her genes.

We'd beaten her before and we knew how. We chose the easy route and simply pounded her with our best magic. This time we separated into three parties, and attacked from all sides. I easily moved among them, healing and resupplying whenever possible. It was during this battle that I began to gain a new appreciation for my comrades. Seasoned warriors, they were generously giving their lives and energies to protect the very people who would gladly execute them should they fail. Never mind that once Shinra Incorporated was no longer, Avalanche had become the only hope in fighting both Sephiroth and Jenova. Most people expected to have their problems solved by a third party; not even Meteorfall would change that.

Jenova was a quick kill, barely grazing us. We had plenty of past experience and we put it to good use. And she did not know any new tricks. It was disorienting to see her disintegrate so quickly, giving way to her self-appointed heir.

Sephiroth more than made up for her and, if he were ever human, we saw none of that. Completely unrecognizable as born of our world, he transformed many times during our onslaught. I remembered our battle with Hojo, and could guess that we hadn't begun to experience what he could eventually produce. Toying with us was his revenge before he would wipe us off the face of his planet and take over as its god.

When my rounds brought me beside Vincent, I was struck that his expression hadn't much changed over the last hours. It was grim before and was still grim; perhaps my own face mirrored his, but I was heartened by his courage and the ageless heroism in his demeanor. He had courage because that was what was needed; there was a job to do. During the next tour around I noticed that everyone wore the same face: it was determination, and not despair. The battle began to strike me as winnable. Of course we would beat Sephiroth. We had only to believe in each other and put forth our best efforts. It had never occurred to me before that we were every bit a match for him. And then some.

First we struck with as much raw power as we could. This was completely physical and we fought with might alone, chipping as much as we could from his corporeal presence. Our enemy returned in kind. But we were many and he was only one. Spread out around him in a circle, we simply overpowered his ability to keep track of us. When we had completely beaten him down, we made sure to destroy all his various physical parts.

It did not surprise anyone that he simply switched to a more metaphysical plane. Now we were faced with the seraphic side, with all the powers of the afterlife at his bidding. But we were also protected with our own enormous store of materia, and maxed out with limit breaks that were unimaginable only weeks before. He was running out of time and energy, and our assault was relentless. We closed ranks around any fallen comrade, and he or she was quickly restored and returned to the fray. It was electric; we could do no wrong. Any possible misstep was easily overcome with sheer volume of power and magic and mental determination. Sephiroth began to visibly falter, and we moved in for the kill with purely physical attacks comprised of all our limit breaks in succession.

And the awesome, evil archangel began to disintegrate, dropping from sight and leaving us listening to the sounds of our panting and gasping. We looked at one another, not believing our good fortune. Was he really gone?

No, he was not. He had saved us one more battle.

That, too, wasn't quite right. Cloud was whisked from our midst, transported to where the very human essence of Sephiroth waited to bait him once more. Cid broke the spell with a torrent of curses and invective. Where had the enemy gone? Nanaki responded with a low, constant growl, remaining on guard.

"But he couldn't be still alive!" Yuffie sputtered.

"Where is Cloud? Where did Sephiroth take him?" Tifa couldn't accept that she was excluded from the last battle. She ran from one side to another, frantically searching for her soulmate.

"It's for the best, girl. You know Cloud wants one last chance at him. So it's his fight--not ours. Let him handle it." Barrett spoke in a low, soothing tone, the voice of sanity. We had to agree. But Tifa moved toward the intense brightness of the core. We followed her and arranged ourselves where we could watch, removed from the arena, barely able to see the combatants. They were visible, just very much out of reach. We could not help.

It was completed in no time. Cloud was all over Sephiroth before he could even formulate a taunt. It wasn't possible to see all the hits in the bloody frenzy of Omnislash, but we enjoyed a clear view of the finishing blow. Cloud rose slowly above his prey and descended in a brilliant and deadly final attack, leaving little to recognize as the terror we knew as Sephiroth.

In response, the Lifestream immediately boiled up around us. We were, after all, at its core. It would likely inundate us before we could escape. But this was not a mindless river or ocean surge, and we were its allies. We worked our way out of the center and pulled up on the rocks around us, seemingly with plenty of time, even as the stream advanced one step behind us.

"Josephine, come with me. We must all move upward." Vincent took my arms and lifted me with him onto a secure ledge, where we looked around for our comrades. Everyone was at nearly the same level, except our leader. He was below, dragging Tifa above a flat cliff, and they scrambled atop it, waving to us all.

The Lifestream not only flowed below us but began to swirl around in the air, again like the bright, busy funnel cloud that surrounded the crater when we first saw it, days ago. We were not afraid, but there didn't seem to be any escape. No matter; whatever happened, the job was done. It was out of our hands.

I remember sitting back against the wall of the crater and closing my eyes, my arms dangling uselessly at my sides. Exhaustion sapped my very life-blood; there was no Glow, no energy left. It would be necessary to recharge before I could even move. The current twisted around us like a cyclone. It buffeted and flattened me into the rocks. Then I heard Cid, who was shouting triumphantly.

"It's the Highwind! Everyone latch onto the deck!" Vincent circled my waist with his arm and grasped at the side of the ship with his claw. Together we were yanked against the now-vertical upper deck.

That was the easy part; the airship was slowly sinking into the center of the crater. Then Cid pulled at an emergency cord, and the engines screamed, filling the crater with an unearthly shrieking sound as they built power for the escape.

The Highwind lurched, or rather popped upward with a jerk, throwing everyone backward. Vincent's claw was securely connected to the ship. But his flesh arm wasn't up to holding my weight, and I fell backwards into the maelstrom of Lifestream that awaited below.

We were finished. We'd done our part. Nothing else mattered. I surrendered, closed my eyes and listened to Vincent call my name, stretching it out in a hoarse howl. Then the Lifestream gently accepted me, and I couldn't hear the Highwind or my comrades any more.

Left Behind: The Denouement

Lifestream looks like water and feels like it when it splashes, but is not even wet when a body is immersed in it. I was not drowning, in fact I felt peaceful and secure. Nor did I hear the cacophany of voices or minds that Tifa reported. What I heard was a purposeful murmuring that sounded like conversation, but it was not directed to me. And yet I did not feel left out of its stream. No words were audible, but I understood we were headed towards Midgar to engage Meteor.

We were going to engulf Meteor, disintegrate its matter, and absorb its energy. That was clear, but seems like I could've guessed that myself without actually having it communicated to me. Still, there was a constant atmosphere of purpose directed that way, and I couldn't escape it. What puzzled me was how I could possibly contribute. Would I also absorb Meteor? Sounded good to me; bring it on.

Well, no. In fact, no sooner had the thought formed in my mind when I sensed a familiar presence. My heart leapt in my chest, because I recognized my Grampa, the dragoon, coming to me.

Please don't misunderstand. I saw and heard no one. But the presence of Grampa was unmistakable. In life he was always so loving and accepting of us grandchildren, making each of us feel quite special. We all worshipped him without reserve. In the Lifestream I was overwhelmed with a feeling of loving pride and regretful farewell, mixed into the same moment. I swear I almost craned my head around to look for him, but his presence was already gone. But there was no time for tears; I was being instructed by other family. Or friends. Or other loved ones. It all swirled rapidly around me and I couldn't discern separate personalities anymore.

But I got the message. The Lifestream would leave me on the planet's surface. I could not help, and after all, we'd done our part. Furthermore, there was more expected from me, and it would play out after Meteorfall. And not only from me, but from everyone in the fellowship. Nothing was presented as a prediction, only as a logical flow of time and events. The Lifestream is not a crystal ball. At least, it wasn't for me.

Two very strong impressions remain with me even today. One, that Midgar was doomed to ruin. That was fine with me, because all cities have their day and their death. Midgar would be returned to the Planet, same as all people, plants and animals. In the end, our Planet would revert to stardust, to continue the everlasting cycling of energy and matter. But the imagery was beautiful; maybe someday I will write about it and share it with all the survivors.

The other was much more than an impression. Visually, it was a meeting of all our allies around the Cosmo Candle. Not only us road warriors and our confederates, Reeve and the Turks, but children. Many, many children. A very animated Captain Cid was regaling the little ones with stories, and his excited face shone in the firelight. I was trying to hear him, but an infant was fussing in my arms. I looked down into a mop of shiny black hair, almost covering dark eyes. The eyes intrigued me, and I wanted to brush the silky hair from the baby's face. But this wasn't a dream I could manipulate; I could just see what was before me.

The only other striking image was a slightly older Marlene, her face rapt, while clinging to Barrett and watching the little ones, who sat among us adults, also watching and listening to Cid. We all cradled babies or cuddled kids.

There was no time to ponder the vision, and no sense of what it meant. Just a fleeting eyeful of children, Cosmo Canyon, and my friends. Then I was looking up at the night sky. For one sad, brief moment, I felt almost bereft of the Lifestream's presence, as I watched it evaporate around me, or rather blow along, like a shining fog moving with a breeze, leaving me in the grasslands just outside of the vicinity of Midgar.

The blazing Meteor was roiling the atmosphere above Midgar, creating violent tornadic disturbances. The Lifestream rode right up the funnel clouds and began to envelope and extinguish the fireball. Gradually, the sounds of wind and awful holocaust lessened, as the Lifestream continued its work.

At the same time a familiar whirring sound was closing in on me. The Highwind had escaped the crater and was moving in closer to Midgar, eventually hovering above me. A dark figure dropped from the upper deck and landed hard in front, blocking my view of the spectacle. He spoke in gasps, ragged and rasping. I lost his first words in the downdraft of the airship, as it lifted and backed away from us.

"... Josephine, how fortunate you are glowing. We saw you as soon as we crested the coastal hills." It wasn't the Glow, because I never regained the energy spent in the last battle. I could hardly keep my eyes open, and wouldn't be able to tell if they were closed or not, except that droplets of the Lifestream clung all around me, and they were phosphorescent in the night. As soon as Vincent's armored shoons hit the ground, the remaining mist rose and left me to join the rest of the luminous stream headed towards Meteor.

Vincent knelt right next to me and picked my head and shoulders off the grass. I couldn't see his face, but he said he was relieved to find me alive. He spoke very seriously and in a low, mournful tone. Of course.

"Can you forgive me for letting you go? I would have followed you down into the crater, but the others prevented me from doing so. Cid caused the Highwind to lift up too fast to permit me to float off the deck. I feared we would never see you alive again." He spoke quickly, as if saying anything that came to mind. He sounded both composed and yet oddly desperate, and as if he needed a reassuring word from me. With almost painful effort, I reached up to touch his chin with my fingers, and he lowered his face to mine.

"Vincent. You're in my way. I want to watch the Lifestream."

There was no reply, and I couldn't see his eyes, but he moved aside and turned me towards Midgar. Later, they told me we watched the spectacle until the light died down. Vincent returned me deeply asleep to "my" stateroom.

Meteor was gone and Midgar was surely a mess. But the Planet survived, and so would we.

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